


Ouroboroi

by approximately



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Ethics, Dubious Morality, Fix-It, M/M, Orphanage, Other, POV Alternating, POV Third Person, POV Third Person Limited, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 34,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23772187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/approximately/pseuds/approximately
Summary: Kabuto was used to be just about every single gear in a clockwork -- but here in the orphanage, he had to be only a couple.It was almost too easy. It would have been too easy if it hadn’t been for the children.The first time one of them grabbed his hand out of nowhere, all smiles and sticky fingers, he had to muster every ounce of willpower he had just to stay calm and not slap the very much adhesive little hand away.
Relationships: Orochimaru/Yakushi Kabuto
Comments: 130
Kudos: 103





	1. Restoration

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ventduprintemps](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ventduprintemps/gifts).



What little strength he had immediately after being resurrected had been fleeting. It had barely been enough to get them out of the mess Kabuto had gotten them into, even with his additional chakra. It had felt warped, not quite like his own. The sage markings around Kabuto’s eyes had slowly faded away under his touch. He felt nauseous thinking back.

It hadn’t taken him long to decide on a new vessel, anything semi-suitable would have done at that point. Orochimaru had been glad to have Karin and Suigetsu locate one relatively quickly.  
Losing another three years was a shame, but pondering this was of no use. He figured that most of these three years would be used to try and recover some of what was lost in his absence. Having a perfect vessel right at this point might not have been of much use either way.  
The hideouts had hardly been abandoned for a year and yet nature had found a way inside, taking back what was hers slowly. Roots were growing out from between the once sterile tiles, rodents were nesting in crevices.  
Orochimaru had been appalled. This was his life’s work. These hideouts once had held all of his knowledge. Everything he’d ever done, he’d done for this.  
Now scrolls lay scattered between broken vials and appliances.  
Orochimaru would simply not allow it. Nature would have to, once again, wait her turn. 

Karin had astounded Orochimaru almost as much as his first glance at the hideout had.  
She immediately started working through the scrolls with him, meticulous and concentrated from start to end. Her knowledge on the topics wasn’t anywhere close to where Kabuto’s had been, but she made up for it with a surprising amount of quick wit and reading comprehension. Perhaps he had underestimated her. Still, it took them almost a year to get the places up and running again.

Slowly, things were starting to go back to normal. Orochimaru almost felt normal again, the hideout almost felt normal again. Working there felt almost normal again. Until Karin or Suigetsu asked a question that he’d had to answer, until he had to stop working to fix himself something to eat.  
Until he realised how incredibly dreary it was to wrap up a day’s worth of work only to sit and drink tea alone, unable to talk to anyone about the progress that had been made. Not that there was much progress to speak of, experiments had started slow and most hypotheses hadn’t yet been sufficiently confirmed. 

It reminded him of the time he’d spent at the northern hideout with Kimimaro, where Kabuto hadn’t followed. At the time, his jealousy had been amusing to Orochimaru.  
Kimimaro’s company had been easy, the boy had done anything and everything to please. But it also had felt like toying with prey too hurt for fight or flight. There had been no use in talking to him, no new insights to gain from it, just soft smiles and nods. Orochimaru didn’t need those.  
What he needed was a challenge, something to keep interested in. 

He didn’t have that right now. What he had was all work and no play, something that had been going quite well for him when he’d been in his early twenties but for some reason it didn’t thrill him anymore. There had been something special about the balance that Kabuto had brought into his life, something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Breaks from work with steaming cups of tea, fruitful conversation (despite the occasional snarky remark) while working away at more monotonous tasks.  
Whatever balance Kabuto had brought, he had not left any of it behind for either of them when he had decided to quite literally distill Orochimaru's remains into some sort of sick vitamin replacement in an intravenous drip.  
Unsurprisingly, it had not done him any good, an actual vitamin infusion would certainly have been a better idea.  
Anything would have been a better idea.  
Orochimaru had to forcibly shove the thought to the back of his head. There wasn’t a lot of heat left in him when it came to this. He’d been angry about it for long enough, had fumed over Kabuto and how stupid he had been, about Sasuke and the Uchiha audacity. He had laid in bed, shaking with anger, unable to do anything about any of these things at all. Apart from slowly working back towards where he had been before the war.  
He hadn't taken care of that room himself, he had taken one look at it, inspected the giant distiller, trailed a finger along the cool metal, the dried speckles of blood.  
Then, he'd left and told Karin to get rid of the thing entirely.  
One day the room would be his again.

Though Karin clearly was the one more helpful for most of their daily routine, Suigetsu was the one that usually kept close by, following him around like a puppy. Orochimaru had been somewhat surprised that he wanted to come back at all — instead of using the aftermath of the war as an opportunity to start over somewhere else. He certainly wouldn't suggest it though, Suigetsu was useful, despite being a little slow on the uptake. However, even that was practical in itself. If Suigetsu had been any smarter, he certainly wouldn't be working for him right now.  
He had plopped down on the floor next to where Orochimaru was standing, flipping through the pages of a book he had no idea he owned.

"Orochimaru-sama.", he began, as if he knew that he had been the topic of Orochimaru's thoughts, even though he sounded a little hesitant.

"Yes?"

"Karin told me not to talk about--", he fumbled with his shirt's sleeves, "but --". 

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow and tucked the book back into the shelf. Was this about Kabuto?

"-- but why don't we at least ask Kabuto about the stuff Karin doesn’t know how to work with?" 

Of course that would be what both of them were tiptoeing around.  
"That would be because Kabuto is in Konoha, caretaker in an orphanage nonetheless, and I'm fairly certain Yamato won't let us go there, even if we wanted to." 

"Don't you want to?" Suigetsu cocked his head to the side. 

"No." This conversation was exactly what Orochimaru did not need. "Suigetsu, did you come here just to bother me? Those tiles don't exactly seem comfortable enough to warrant the effort." 

"N-no, of course not, I was hoping I could help with anything. Eventually. Maybe?" 

Orochimaru looked at him and Suigetsu visibly winced. "Thank you for your concern. I'm fine for the moment, though. Now, do me a favour and go and ask Karin if she could use your help."

Suigetsu listened to him, as always, left, and didn’t return to his side for the next days either. Orochimaru hated working alone. There was something about an empty room that ate away at him slowly. He enjoyed the first couple of hours, maybe even the first day or two. After that, empty rooms were just extensions of his wandering mind, leaving more space for thoughts to settle down in. He had never quite understood the concept of it. He had a tendency to get lost in thoughts but why would the mere presence of someone be enough to remedy that? Maybe he was just getting too soft and things that shouldn’t get to him started to do just that. 

He let his gaze rest on a wet specimen he brought from his study in Konoha. A small grass snake, now preserved for eternity, an ouroboros in itself.  
In order to get different results, he would have to try out different methods. And for now, his thoughts kept drifting back to a certain medic that had not even bothered to contact him. He definitely owed Orochimaru an apology, but right now, Orochimaru didn’t care for it. He wanted to know what Kabuto was doing. Surely, he wasn’t happy with his new life.  
It wasn’t even the city. He could certainly see Kabuto living a happy life in Konohagakure, working in the hospital, working as a shinobi, but not in an orphanage.  
His talents were wasted there.  
Orochimaru doubted he’d last very long without going absolutely insane.  
Actually, Suigetsu was right. He would be interested to go and see exactly that for himself.  
It was a win-win situation either way, if Kabuto, for some reason, had truly changed and actually enjoyed his new life, he’d be virtually useless to him and it would be easy to move on and find someone with similar skills. But if he hated the orphanage and his life there, it would absolutely bring Orochimaru some well-deserved comfort.  
He felt the hint of a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. 

He could probably risk a trip to Konoha. Yamato’s incompetence was appalling at best and Orochimaru was fairly certain that even something as basic as a shadow clone should do the trick if he let Karin distract him for just a few seconds.  
He should see how Yamato was doing first though. Check on the other people stationed outside with him. How many were they? He hadn’t even bothered to look before. Now, suddenly, he was quite intrigued.  
Timing would be everything.  
It usually was, he just wasn’t a very patient person. 

For now, Orochimaru decided to prepare a tray with a teapot and two cups to bring outside. He was lucky that it was gloomy and cold as can be, plus, the past days hadn’t exactly been sunny either. It was quite likely that Yamato cursed his job every couple of seconds.  
The whole ordeal was amusing, really. While Orochimaru didn’t appreciate being tailed, he certainly didn’t have to waste much time or thought on it. Yamato, however, was stationed outside in the cold every hour, every day. The most interesting thing he got to do presumably was following Orochimaru when he decided to take a walk to clear his head.

When he saw him approaching, Yamato’s face went through at least five different, albeit subtle, expressions. One of them being relief. So he really was that bored.  
Orochimaru smiled at him before lowering his head in an almost submissive manner.  
“It seemed rather cold. I brought you some tea, Yamato-san.“  
Yamato stared at the tray, then awkwardly gestured towards the makeshift table and chairs he’d set up, apparently having used the mokuton.  
Orochimaru quietly placed the tray on the table and poured some tea for them. 

“May I sit?“, he asked, looking back up at Yamato.  
“What do you want?“ 

“I don’t want anything from you, Yamato-san. I’m done with work for the day and you have to watch me no matter where I sit, so I might as well sit with you. If you don’t mind, that is.“  
Yamato hesitated, then sat down despite himself. “Alright.“ His voice sounded brisk. Clearly he didn’t believe a word Orochimaru was saying, but that really did not matter.

“You are very welcome to stay inside, Yamato-san. This can’t possibly be comfortable and I’m sure you’ll be stationed here for quite some time.“  
Yamato stared at him.  
Orochimaru sat down on one of the free chairs. Technically Yamato had been assigned a few chunin that were here with him, but apparently they were doing something else at the moment. He’d ask Karin to check out their chakra signatures later.

“I will do no such thing.“, Yamato replied, his expression stern.  
“Ah, so you keep saying. But there are free rooms for you and your team if you ever find yourself… caught in the rain.“ Orochimaru put on a gentle smile, enjoying the annoyance that flickered over Yamato’s features. Despite being so stoic, he was easy to read.

“It pains me that you have to stay out here because of me.“, he added. “I think I have caused enough mayhem in your life already. You deserve a more diverse job, even though I understand very well why Konoha has decided to add a few shadows to mine.“ Orochimaru took a sip of the tea.  
Yamato didn’t answer, but looked at the cup of tea in front of him warily.

“I can assure you it is not poisoned. Would you like to swap cups? Though I’m afraid I’ve had some of mine already.“  
Again, no answer, but this time Yamato took a sip of the tea. He caught his gaze. Was this supposed to be an act of defiance, or was he trying to prove something to himself?  
Orochimaru averted his eyes again and took another sip of tea, savouring the lingering taste of jasmine.  
„Why did you come here?“  
He allowed himself a little sigh. “Would you like me to leave you to drink your tea in peace?“  
“Yes.“  
Orochimaru smiled, stood up, gave Yamato the world’s smallest bow, and left.


	2. Medication

How Tsunade had agreed with him when he’d suggested he could go back to the orphanage where he was raised to help and maybe make amends for at least some of the things he did, Kabuto did not know.  
Konoha had been changed by the war, but its government’s mentality certainly had not.  
Kabuto wasn’t certain if the average Konoha resident respected this decision, especially because his face resembled Orochimaru’s more than just a little. He would have probably been forgotten if that hadn’t been the case. Most of the people fighting in the war hadn’t even heard the name „Yakushi Kabuto“ before. Most of them hadn’t heard it during or after the war, either.  
This was what being a Shinobi meant for so many of them. Fighting for a faceless country, a city hidden in — whatever it was this time. 

He’d had his fair share of fighting for various different countries, different people, different reasons. None of them had really resonated with him, apart from Orochimaru’s. He’d been there because he’d wanted to be there. He’d been there because Orochimaru seemed to have figured things out.  
However, Uchiha Itachi had still been right, it did take some work to be the person one was meant to be. Figuring things out for themselves, Kabuto guessed.  
He certainly did not have anything left to lose, and since he had been so graciously brought to the orphanage by the Hokage herself, there was no reason not to at least try.  
He had been adamant about working hard, had made sure that the orphanage ran more smoothly than it ever had before, breezing through paperwork that was so much easier to work with than what he was used to doing. 

Kabuto was used to be just about every single gear in a clockwork -- but here in the orphanage, he had to be only a couple.  
It was almost too easy.  
It would have been too easy if it hadn’t been for the children.  
The first time one of them grabbed his hand out of nowhere, all smiles and sticky fingers, he had to muster every ounce of willpower he had just to stay calm and not slap the very much adhesive little hand away. 

If this was the kind of work he had to put in to become what Itachi had wanted, Kabuto wasn’t sure why he had even managed to break free.  
This was close to being impossible. Maybe it was impossible.  
He couldn’t see himself getting very close with the children, even if Urushi urged him to just talk to them and get to know them. It had truly surprised him to realise that he didn’t want to get to know them. For some reason he had believed that coming here would have been somewhat like coming back home. But Mother was gone and he hadn’t even enjoyed the other children’s company growing up. He vividly remembered climbing up onto the highest shelves to be out of everyone’s sight, just to read a book in silence.  
Now, that was equally as difficult as it was to mimic the other caretakers and smile when he looked at one of the kid's chubby faces, usually smeared with things he very much preferred to not know about.  
The irony of not so much as batting a lash at Orochimaru’s experiments but being thoroughly disgusted by children with sticky hands and faces was not lost on him, either.  
He had truly believed that he would be able to just return here and be the child that left all those years ago. Itachi had apparently believed that as well. Both of them had been horribly wrong.  
Kabuto had been horribly wrong about a couple of things, these last two years, he’d come to realise. 

With a sigh, he placed the book he’d been planning on reading back into the small shelf beside his desk. There was no way he was going to be able to concentrate on it now. The day had started off weird enough, and it hadn’t stopped. Kabuto had woken up in a cold sweat and with the distinct feeling of a nightmare he couldn’t remember. And after that, his day had just consisted of him trying to do something, getting distracted by his own thoughts, and then deciding to deal with it the next day. After he’d hopefully gotten some better quality sleep. 

Kabuto vaguely remembered that one of his only time relevant tasks for this day had been giving out some cake that had been delivered by some charitable person, who apparently believed that baked goods were exactly what orphans needed. Kabuto was fairly sure that the task had only been given to him because the other caretakers had felt like he wasn’t close enough with the children. They were right, he wasn’t.  
Being the one that presented chocolate cake to them wouldn’t change it, because the reason wasn’t that the orphans didn’t like him, hell, they’d even looked past his fucked up exterior. The reason was that he hadn’t really wanted to connect to any of them. A year ago he had been so sure that taking care of children was something he was quite comfortable with, considering that there had almost always been a kid that Orochimaru had taken in. But those strays had, despite also being orphans, nothing in common with the children in Konoha’s orphanage. They had been so desperate for praise and attention that they were almost always extremely well behaved, and if for some reason they were not, Kabuto had made quick work of getting them to behave. Most of them hadn’t liked him, but he had made sure that they were healthy and well cared for.  
Here, the orphans might not dislike him quite as much, but he had almost no way of making them behave. Urushi had told him on multiple occasions that even the silent treatment was considered cruel. Not laughing at that had proven quite difficult, but somehow, he’d managed, putting on a solemn smile and nodding his head yes.  
“Of course, how could I be so careless.“ 

He made his way down to the kitchen, taking the longer way without even thinking about it. It didn’t pass the great hall and therefore saved him the trouble of saying “hello“ to usually around at least five kids passing him there.  
Still, a small girl ran up to him when he was almost at the kitchen door. So close, yet so far.  
„Kabuto!“, she squealed.  
„Yes?“ He would have replied with her name, but he was pretty sure he’d never even seen her before. Then again, he thought that about at least 40% of the children.  
Orochimaru would have remembered her name. Kabuto internally rolled his eyes at the thought and let it pass.  
„Tamaki hit me!“ The chirping of her little voice was so high pitched that it reminded him of the tinnitus he sometimes got at night now. He gave her a once over. She didn’t have a scratch on her, but that meant nothing for kids these days.  
„Well, go and tell Tamaki-kun that I said he isn’t allowed to do that.“, Kabuto replied, once again being extremely thankful for this style of answer that solved virtually anything children threw at him. Much like suspected, it worked like a charm, the girl nodded, seemingly determined, and ran off immediately. 

He quickly slipped into the kitchen and let the door fall shut behind him. He guessed that in some ways he was still the boy who grew up here, running away from the others.  
He would have allowed himself a sigh, but he quickly realised he wasn’t alone. By the kitchenette, where the now uncovered cake was placed, stood a boy, staring at him wide-eyed. His fingers were covered in melted chocolate and there were still crumbs stuck to his mouth.  
The cake itself had various holes, almost as if little fingers had poked inside to reel at least some, if not all of the chocolate chips out. 

Earlier that day, Kabuto had honestly thought that he couldn’t care less about the cake or the children looking forward to it, in fact, he’d been somewhat sceptical when he heard people getting excited over it. He still wasn’t sure if a slice of chocolate cake was necessarily what he would have needed when he was a child, but then again, it certainly couldn’t have hurt.  
But now, seeing the holey, semi-squashed cake, he actually felt something resembling anger prickling inside of him like tiny little senbon needles piercing his chest. 

“You.“, he kept is voice calm and low. 

The small boy just stood there, silent, frozen in shock.

“Go to the sleeping chambers right now. Sit on your bed, think about what you just did. I’ll get you later. You will not move even an inch until then.“  
He still didn’t so much as move a muscle.

„Did I make myself clear?“ Kabuto was surprised at the amount of heat in his voice.

„Y-yes., Kabuto-san.“, came the meek reply.

„Then move.“ 

It hardly took three seconds until the boy was gone. He was glad to be alone for a little while, at least before he looked at the time and realised that he would have to go and tell everyone that there would not, in fact, be cake. He rubbed his temples. How on earth was this under-challenging job more stressful than dealing with things that actually had consequences that could kill him?  
He procured a headache pill from his pocket (he started carrying those everywhere a few weeks after starting work in the orphanage) and swallowed it without even bothering to get water.  
Making sure not to accidentally touch the remains of the cake, he grabbed the plate and emptied it over the bin. What was left of the cake slumped onto apple peels and bell pepper cores in a sad heap. Kabuto put the plate in the sink — still a weird feeling to just leave work around for someone else to do at a later point in time — and turned on his heels to announce the lack of cake for dinner. 

So many expectant eyes. Kabuto looked around, studying the excited faces before sighing.  
"I'm sorry, there won't be any cake tonight.", he said, going for a sympathetic tone of voice.  
Urushi threw him a glance that for some reason managed to say "What the fuck did you do with the cake.". Quite impressive, in Kabuto's humble opinion.  
Clearly they were going to have a conversation about this later. So much for their plan to make Kabuto the most popular caretaker. 

Before he could elaborate, a cacophony of little voices rang out.  
"Kabuto-san, why won't we get to eat the cake?"  
"Maybe they forgot to make it!"  
"No, I saw it earlier! Urushi definitely had cake!"  
"Do you think the adults ate it on their own??"

Urushi opened his mouth, but Kabuto was just a second faster.  
"I'm very sorry about this, I know you were all looking forward to it. I can assure you we will do our best to get you cake for another day this week.", he said, deciding it would be best not to let someone who had no idea what was going on handle this situation for him.  
"There has been an incident where one of your siblings has decided that it would be funny to destroy the cake."  
Urushi gestured at him hectically. Again, pretty funny.  
Kabuto tried his best to keep the stern expression on his face but really struggled with it. Whatever anger he'd felt earlier was completely wiped away, he was essentially back to finding the whole ordeal rather excessive. 

And of course, just as Kabuto had expected, the conversation followed immediately after leaving the dinner hall.  
Urushi headed him off just in front of his room. Kabuto had no idea how he had managed to get in front of him, but he assumed Urushi just knew his way around. 

"What the fuck?!", he groaned. 

"I'm... sorry?" Kabuto offered.

"Yeah, you'd better be, what was that?!" 

Kabuto looked at him for a few seconds before shrugging.  
"What would you have wanted me to say? I was considering telling them who was at fault, but I think that might have started a witch hunt." 

"Why are you like this?" Urushi actually seemed to mean the question. "Honestly, you wanted to come here." 

Kabuto frowned. "I know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." 

"This is the best chance of having a normal life that you'll ever get! Do you know how fucking lucky you are? I'm not saying you don't deserve this, but many people don't know why the Hokage decided the way she did!" Urushi's face turned slightly pink. 

The pang of guilt that hit Kabuto surprised him. He cursed himself, Urushi was right.  
Why was he like this? He had the perfect chance to just move on.  
Yet he didn't.

Urushi left him standing, stomping off without another word.  
Kabuto slowly walked the last few steps to his room and went inside.  
He let himself fall onto his bed.  
There had to be a logical reason why he wasn't doing better here. 

There were a few obvious ones. He was bored. In Otogakure, there was about double the amount of work at all times. But it was more appreciated as well. What he did there, nobody else could have done for him. Here, he was one of many caretakers in an orphanage that didn't need a medic, or even a shinobi.  
Nobody really needed him, he could have easily been switched out for just any girl on the street that, preferably, grew up with younger siblings.  
In fact, "any girl" would probably be better suited for the job, considering that there was a reasonable amount of suspicion directed towards him, not counting Urushi, who, for some reason, really seemed to be rooting for him.  
Generally speaking though, his chance here was solely based on the Hokage's charity.  
An act of mercy. He hated it. 

His life had changed back and forth so much, ever since it started, basically, but the time in Otogakure had truly been his favourite. The distinct feeling of being important was so healing. It wasn’t only that, though, it was intellectually stimulating conversations with Orochimaru, who listened to him even if he disagreed with what he had said. It had been their work, it had been their shared interest in finding things out. They had been able to keep each other sharp in a way that was probably impossible to recreate with anyone else.  
Thinking about Orochimaru was a terrible idea but the thoughts kept crawling back to him.  
It was almost like watching a film of his own life. 

Kabuto, walking through the study to wrap up his work and sort his notes that usually had been scattered around the room because he had the tendency to walk while thinking — suddenly finding a piece of calligraphy that Orochimaru had placed somewhere to dry.  
Waking up to the distant sound of Orochimaru playing the flute in the garden just before sunrise, the fog so thick that it seemed to be coalesced with his pale form, accented by a white kimono. 

The omnipresent aura of regality and calm around Orochimaru, the general silence that the hidden sound had ironically possessed. 

Without looking up, he let his hand pat around the perimeter of his bedside table until he found his trusty jar of valium. 

Hopefully a good night of sleep would sort him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (if anyone knows where the cake reference is from i will love you forever)


	3. Hypothesis

Karin had made quick work of distracting Yamato. She had yelled something quite dramatic about terrible period cramps and having to be escorted to her room because she was going to faint, apparently. An interesting technique, Orochimaru thought, while getting some distance between himself and the facility. 

Travelling alone again, without the feeling of being watched, was relaxing.  
Karin had really done an impressive job at making sure that Yamato wasted no time thinking about if this was some sort of decoy. Orochimaru had made sure his shadow clone had walked out of the research lab, vaguely interested in all the ruckus, offering some painkillers to the still screaming Karin. Yamato had looked so pale that he could have been a perfect shade match for Orochimaru's skin. He certainly hadn't looked like he was going to patrol the perimeter of the research labs anytime soon. 

It was a nice day. The smell of petrichor brought by the storm that had passed them the night before still lingered in the air. The pine trees that surrounded the hideout only added to the rich, earthy scent. Orochimaru took a deep breath, grateful that he could. He remembered all too well how his lungs had almost failed him multiple times in other vessels, how every deep breath had led to a series of coughs that left him sore and shaky. Orochimaru hated thinking about it, it made him feel like the infections could creep back into his lungs at any given time.  
His central nervous system had no memory of the pain, not anymore at least.  
His anxiety was psychosomatic at best, but right now it just meant that he could appreciate breathing more than most people could. 

Orochimaru let his mind wander away from past troubles but of course, eventually his thoughts led him to Kabuto and the orphanage. It didn’t really come as a surprise as it was not only his destination but also, as much as he hated admitting it to himself, very much a sore spot. As was anything that concerned Kabuto. He wanted to see him burn and, at the same time, have him by his side to make him tea, fuss over him when he hadn’t eaten properly, brush his hair… With a sigh, Orochimaru acknowledged the thought and let it go. It was of no use to him right now. 

He vividly remembered how hard similar thought processes had been for him in the past. How hard it had been to push aside thoughts of people dying in the war, how difficult being alone after leaving Konoha and his team had been.  
Even before that, he remembered how all-consuming his pain had been when his parents had not returned. Back then, Orochimaru had felt like he might actually die from the pain. He had gotten migraines from it — sometimes, they had left him bedridden for days at age 14. 

He doubted that anything could even have this effect on him now. While he was still angry and disappointed and… incredibly interested as to what Kabuto was doing, there was no urgency to his emotions anymore. Time really did change one's perspective. 

When Konoha’s silhouette started peaking through the trees on the horizon, Orochimaru decided to use a simple transformation jutsu earlier rather than later. He’d been walking all night and while it was unlikely to run into leaf shinobi at this ungodly hour it was nowhere near impossible. 

He went with something tried and true. Somewhat similar to his own form, but not too much so. The same dark hair, slightly more rosy skin, eyes a pale amber instead of gold, even though it pained him. Orochimaru wasn’t sure why he preferred female bodies for disguises, but he did. It might have had something to do with women being more vulnerable, generally speaking. It made him seem more approachable and less suspicious, he assumed. It really shouldn’t, though.  
He had never quite understood all the fuss about gender, but since he had inhabited multiple bodies of different genders in his lifetime, he figured his opinion was not exactly comparable to that of others. 

Walking into Konoha once again hadn’t proven difficult, the city still prided itself on keeping its gates open at all times. He couldn’t complain -- it had made his life easier on multiple occasions.  
The city still looked the same as it had years ago, the same corner shops and little restaurants. He took some time to rest in a little tea house before actually visiting the orphanage.

When he did made his way through the pretty zen garden that was the front yard of the orphanage a few hours later, he already heard some kids screaming at each other inside the building. Working there must truly be a delight.  
A young woman opened the door for him when he knocked. He talked to her for a little while, about how his “husband died in the war“ and how he had “always wanted a child“.  
It was a welcome distraction from his daily life, really.  
She seemed happy to show him around the orphanage. Apparently adopting children in Konoha was still the same process as it had been years ago. Comparable to picking out vegetables at the farmer’s market.  
They really ought to step up their security system, Orochimaru thought.

He followed the woman around the orphanage, smiling at children and pretending to be interested in stories about their likes and dislikes. He hadn’t seen even a trace of Kabuto in almost an hour. It wasn’t odd, he supposed. If he was right about this (and he was almost certain that he was), Kabuto would most likely try to stay on the paperwork side of things, avoiding contact with both children and visitors. 

“I’m afraid I have to run some errands in town soon. You can stay here and have another look around, maybe talk to some of the kids. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask anyone, even the children themselves, they know their way around and they usually know where to find the other caretakers.“, the woman eventually said, sounding overly apologetic. “With just a bit of luck I’ll be quick and you’ll still be here when I return. I think I should be just about an hour. Afterwards, I’d love to help you again. These children really deserve the best.“ 

Orochimaru returned her smile. Luck really was on his side today, wasn’t it?  
“Thank you very much. I’m sure I’ll be fine.“ 

He let some children that had clearly just been waiting for this moment pull him to the main garden to look at koi fish in the pond with them.  
“The really big one is called 'Goldie'.“, a young girl told him, her eyes sparkling with excitement.  
“What a fitting name.“ Orochimaru sat down on a rock by the pond, the kids immediately swarming him. Clearly the orphanage still was about as useful as it had been earlier. No special treatment for anyone. The children were practically fighting for some attention and they had barely known him for an hour.  
“Your hair is so pretty, ma’am.“, another girl muttered, reaching her hand out tentatively, but pulling back quickly before she actually touched him.  
“So is yours, my dear.“ Orochimaru said absent-mindedly, wondering where Kabuto was hiding.  
“No, mine is all curly and weird!“, her pout was audible in her voice, “I usually get it braided but nobody had time today.“  
Orochimaru looked at her, nodding thoughtfully. “Ah, everyone must be terribly busy. How many adults work here?“  
She thought about the question for a moment.  
“Five, I think? Urushi-san, Tanaka-san, Kazumi-san, Kabuto-san…“, she used her fingers to count. “Oh, that’s four. There used to be more, but a few months ago the old ones retired. Now nobody has time for anything.“  
Orochimaru hummed in agreement. “You know a lot about this place. How long have you been here?“  
Again, she considered this for a few seconds. “A bit over two years.“  
He cocked his head to the side. So, another war orphan.  
“Are they all nice?“, he asked, testing the waters.  
“Yeah, kinda.“, the girl shrugged, „Urushi-san can be really strict.“  
Well, Orochimaru guessed not every question could get him an answer he was interested in.  
“Do you think you can introduce me to one of them?“  
“Of course!“ The girl beamed, clearly happy to have an assignment. 

So, a few minutes later he had a cup of tea with Urushi. He was fairly sure he remembered him from his visit in the orphanage when he still had been working for Danzo. Hadn’t he been the one that had always been with Kabuto? He wondered why coming back to the orphanage you grew up in was apparently such a popular career choice.

And then, he spotted him.  
Kabuto hurried through the main hall, trying to avoid as many kids on his way as humanly possible.  
He looked terrible. 

It felt both thrilling and awful to see him like this. Kabuto still seemed to be stuck with features that resembled his own, though they did not seem quite right on him. The slitted pupils looked so odd on the gentle doe eyes that Orochimaru remembered. They were almost unrecognisable. Almost.  
His eyes were immediately fixed on Orochimaru, who looked away just in time to pretend to not to notice him as he took another sip of tea.


	4. Inconclusive

Kabuto had forgotten where he was headed. In fact, he had completely lost his train of thought.  
For the briefest moment, he had thought he’d spotted Orochimaru. Sitting with Urushi, drinking tea, like that was the most normal thing on planet earth. 

It was just a woman with slightly similar features but his heart was racing nonetheless. His mouth was suddenly dry and he forced himself to look away. 

Would Orochimaru even come by the orphanage to check on him? After almost two years?  
Kabuto tried to weigh the options in his head but it didn’t get him anywhere. 

„Kabuto-san,“ a boy said emphatically.  
He looked down at him. The kid’s face told him that he had at least said his name once or twice before and he hadn’t answered.  
Was this how bad things were?  
Seeing a person with black hair was enough to make him forget where he was and, even worse, give him cardiac arrhytmia? 

“I’m sorry,“ he kneeled down to be on the same eye level as the child and put on a smile. “What did you say?“ 

"I said," the kid looked at him intently, “Did you get a new cake yet?“

Kabuto shook his head. “Not yet, but trust me, I will.“  
He could not care less about cake right now. 

“I believe in you, Kabuto-san", the boy shouted even though he was kneeling right in front of him.  
Kabuto winced but was spared an answer when the boy ran away instead of continuing their conversation, if you could even call it a conversation. The orphanage's standards as to what counted as conversation were pretty low, so, probably.  
He was just glad it didn't end with a hug.  
How the others dealt with the constant unwanted affection, he didn’t know.  
Kabuto just kept making excuses as to why he didn’t want to hug children, read to them while they sat on his lap, or do anything of the sorts, really.  
He usually said that he felt a cold coming on and didn’t want to risk anyone’s health, but sometimes the children were stubborn enough to not care about his words. Telling them that he was a doctor had proved to be completely useless, too. 

Kabuto looked over at the woman who was still talking to Urushi.  
She definitely was as graceful as Orochimaru. The way her Kimono had slipped just past her wrists, showing off soft skin wrapped tightly around delicate bones made his head swim. Pathetic, he thought.  
What was this, the founders era?  
Flashing a bit of ankle or wrist was enough to make him feel like he inhaled a generous amount of chloramine vapor? 

He looked away again.  
Maybe he should go to his room, take another dose of valium and wait until whatever this was had passed.  
At this rate, he’d be addicted to pain killers and sleeping tablets in no time. And how would that help with not thinking about Orochimaru? 

The choice was made for him when Urushi called his name.  
“Kabuto, come sit with us!“, he added, way too happy, when Kabuto didn’t immediately walk over. 

“I was just going to get some paperwork done…“, he muttered, looking at Urushi with what he hoped was a look that told him >>I know I fucked up but please don’t make me stay<<. 

Either the look hadn’t said that or Urushi was just cruel, because he just patted the pillow to his left. When Kabuto looked up, his suspicion was confirmed -- the smile on Urushi's face told him that he was, in fact, just being cruel.

“Sit with us,“ he repeated with the voice he usually only used when speaking to customers. So they were being petty now? “I have some things to do and I know you’re done with anything that could even be deemed paperwork in the first place. This lady was looking around earlier, she was hoping to eventually adopt a little girl.“  
The woman smiled at Kabuto. “Not today, but I’d love to stay for a bit longer, if it’s not a bother.“

Urushi waved his hand through the air. “Of course it’s not! This is exactly what we’re here for, you can take as much time as you want and visit as often as you want, this isn’t a decision anyone should take too lightly, I’m glad you’re so patient.“

The smile on her face got a little wider and a shiver ran down Kabuto’s spine.  
He began listing pros and cons of why Orochimaru would want to come here.  
If he had wanted to kill him, he’d done so already.  
Would he waste his time like this, just looking at the orphanage?  
Was he just here to laugh at him?  
He knew Orochimaru well enough to not entirely rule that out. 

He cleared his throat.  
Was he being paranoid? 

“Kabuto can show you around some more after you’ve finished your tea.“ 

He cleared his throat again. This was more emotionally taxing than being a spy had been. Kabuto still felt like a spy anyway. Like he should report back to somebody on the state of the orphanage any minute now.  
For now he was apparently going to report to this lady though. He hoped she wouldn’t ask questions about the children. 

Of course, she did ask about the children.

“Who is that little one?“ 

“What are they like?“

“What’s their name?“ 

More often than not, Kabuto improvised, hoping that they wouldn’t actually speak to the child afterwards. 

She moved in a way that made Kabuto’s insides feel like they’d been knotted together in various places.  
“Are you alright?“, she eventually asked, a gentle tone to her voice that Kabuto hated the moment he heard it.  
“Ah, yes. Excuse me. It’s been a rough week, lots of work.“, he heard himself say, almost like he was watching the scene unfold before him.

She looked at him, maybe a second too long for it to feel natural. He felt sick. “In this case, I shall not keep you. Please thank Urushi-san for the tea.“  
Kabuto felt two different emotions hit him at the same time.  
Relief, for not having to show her around anymore — but more importantly, an odd feeling of not wanting to let her go just yet. It made him feel even sicker. 

He nodded quickly before he could change his mind.  
“I will. You can come back anytime.“  
She bowed her head slightly in agreement.  
“I know I can. Thank you.“  
There was something almost challenging in the way she chose to phrase that. 

“Save travels.“  
“It’s only a day’s worth of travelling.“  
And with that, she was gone, leaving only a faint scent of kuroyaki in her wake. It reminded him of the geishas he’d sometimes seen at festivals, with their perfectly powdered skin and perfumed kimonos. 

A day's worth of travelling, though? Something closer to the borders of the Land of Fire then? Or was this honestly just Orochimaru telling him that he was going back to the hidden sound? Kabuto frowned at the lacklustre storytelling of his life. 

Once the night had cloaked Konoha in darkness and everyone in the orphanage was asleep, much like he’d been at this hour when he’d lived in there as a child, Kabuto grabbed his coat to go outside. He didn’t usually walk around Konoha. He was sick of people talking behind held up hands, of parents pulling their children away from him, onto the other side of the street just so they wouldn’t have to breathe the same air as him.  
It wasn’t that he didn’t understand, it wasn’t even that it hurt him.  
It was mostly just annoying to not be able to blend in after so many years of training to do exactly that. Whenever he had to run errands now, he used a transformation jutsu. It was pathetic, his entire life he’d been called useful for being able to pretty much just part his hair differently and blending into a new environment without raising suspicion. 

Now his (or were they Orochimaru’s?) eyes gave him away, showing people where his loyalties lay before he even opened his mouth.  
Did his loyalties lie with Orochimaru?  
He hadn’t spoken to him at all after the war (or had he?), and he wasn’t exactly sure if he wanted to. Pushing the thought to the back of his head and returning to the orphanage had been the easy way out. He still couldn’t quite let it go completely. He hated loose ends, and this was the loosest of ends. Forgetting about a solid decade of ones life seemed unrealistic at best.

Kabuto hadn’t realised where he was going but before he knew his feet had taken him to the so-called forest of death. He had somewhat fond memories of his time with Naruto and his teammates. It was another one of those things he on the one hand wanted to forget about, but on the other hand really cherished. It made him feel weirdly human, weirdly connected to his past. He hadn’t exactly liked any of the genin that had followed him, but they had reminded him how life could be. How most people’s lives were.  
He looked up at the starry sky over the forest, the same sky that everyone else also looked up at.


	5. Aid

Orochimaru had decided on an inn that he liked enough to stay for a night before returning to the hidden sound. His thirst for knowledge had been quenched, he now knew how Kabuto was doing. Really, he shouldn’t have cared in the first place but he had always been a curious individual and there was no changing that now.   
He dropped his transformation jutsu, much like the kimono that he’d just stepped out of to take a shower before going to sleep. 

Kabuto had looked so burnt out, which was surprising considering that the most he did in this godforsaken excuse of a city was probably wiping blood off a kid's scraped knee, telling them that using Shousen Jutsu for everything wasn’t the best way to handle things. Orochimaru wasn’t even sure if they knew that Kabuto was a medic. He still thought his talent was wasted in an orphanage. Without Nonō there, would there even still be medical training? Was Kabuto a ...teacher?   
The leaf hospital would have been a much better fit, but clearly he wasn’t the one deciding.   
He would be, eventually, but not tonight. 

Orochimaru turned on the water, wondering what Kabuto was doing now. He had made quite sure to leave him at least puzzled. Now he was interested in what Kabuto would do with that. Surely he'd noticed it had been him? 

He assumed that there was a multitude of reasons why Kabuto hadn’t contacted him yet. Stubbornness, shame, anger… to name just a few. A healthy dose of fear as well, presumably. Kabuto had always tended to think too much without getting any closer to the truth.

Orochimaru couldn’t relate. While he was also inclined to question things, he didn’t usually question himself, there was just no point in it. Life and identity were things that weren't so easy to define and by admitting that long ago, he had freed himself. Some things, like life, just didn't have a point. Kabuto hadn’t been as comfortable with that answer. 

\---

Even after Orochimaru had returned to the hidden sound, Kabuto made no attempts to contact him.  
Clearly, Kabuto would be just as interested in what Orochimaru was doing as Orochimaru had been interested in how life in the orphanage was for Kabuto. That was out of the question. Still, something obviously kept him from finding out.

Almost two months passed without Orochimaru losing so much as another thought on him. He had made interesting progress on some of the things he was working on and really hadn’t even had the time to ponder. He’d even gotten used to making food for himself again, even though it wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed. Now, it was a boring chore rather than something that reminded him of a Kabuto shaped jigsaw piece missing in his life.

Even without experiments, he had enough to do to keep himself busy. Konoha's guidelines as to what the new village hidden in the sound was supposed to look like were fairly strict, but it made the whole process a lot easier, actually. Not having to guess and plan everything meant that he could let other people do a lot of the work. He just had a bunch of files to work through, most days. 

It was Tsunade knocking on his door, who suddenly reminded him that a world outside of Otogakure existed. 

He took a step back to give her the opportunity to enter.   
“The Hokage herself,“ he bowed, “to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?“ 

Tsunade scoffed. There was a small red leaf stuck in her hair and she generally looked dishevelled and tired.

“I need a favour.“ She was clearly struggling to get the words out.

Orochimaru hummed a quiet “hm“ before answering.   
“How unusual. I vividly remember you telling me not to get into your line of sight again, and now here we are.“

He led her to the kitchen and offered her a cup of tea, which she declined. So they sat down empty handed, eyeing each other over the table that still had an open book on it. Karin must have been reading that earlier. Leaving books open, lying upside down like that broke their backs. He chose not to look at it. 

Tsunade's lips were a barely visible strip of pressed-together skin, turning white with pressure. She took a deep breath before starting to speak again. 

“I need you to perform the Edo Tensei. I need to ask Hashirama something. It’s urgent. We need to get back within the next day or two.“ 

Orochimaru cocked his head to the side, feigning surprise.   
“It seems to me that you are forgetting that you have a man among your own ranks, right in Konoha nonetheless, who you know to be very capable of that exact jutsu. Why come all the way here?“ 

“I asked him, he declined -- but referred me to you.“ Tsunade seemed to get more agitated by the second.

“Did he now. I cannot imagine why.“ 

“I have rented an apartment for you.“ Now, her voice was barely more than a restrained whisper.

“What makes you so sure I will do what you ask?“

“You’re in no position to decline.“

Orochimaru offered her a soft smile.   
“Am I not? Because it seems to me that I am the only person left for you to ask, and therefore I am very much in a position to do anything I would like.“

“You living here, conducting your… experiments is purely our charity. We didn’t have to even let you live after what you did.“ 

“The hidden leaf is directly profiting off my experiments, which is the only reason why I am still here. There is no need to pretend to be charitable. I have known Konoha — and you — too long for that.“ 

She ignored him. “I have found a sacrifice I can prepare for you anytime. That was what you asked for, concerning the Edo Tensei, yeah?“

“For the actual jutsu, yes. I would like to make some other requests, if we are now back to working with each other.“ Orochimaru watched Tsunade’s expression shift from aggravated to openly angry. “I will stay with you and Hashirama the entire time, I will end the jutsu whenever I see fit, and whatever question it is that you so desperately need to ask, you will ask right away. And you will have to arrange a meeting with Kabuto beforehand. He will at least have to part with his notes on the subject, even if he doesn’t feel comfortable performing the jutsu again.“ 

Tsunade seemed genuinely surprised. Even her anger seemed to have been wiped away.  
“Why do you need him?“ 

“I do not need him, I need his notes.“  
“That’s semantics, why do you need additional notes on a jutsu you already proved you are capable of on multiple occasions?“

“That would be because Kabuto, for some odd reason, has found a loophole in the jutsu that I have not. I will not attempt to resurrect the god of shinobi again after I found to have very little to absolutely no control over him last time.“

“You don’t have to control him, I trust Hashirama.“ 

“Oh, I am sure you do, Tsunade. I, however, do not and I will not risk not being able to control my own jutsu.“ 

Karin peeked into the room. She had been anxiously watching the two of them walking towards the kitchen earlier, now her curiosity seemed to have gotten the better of her.

“Orochimaru-sama, is everything alright?“   
“Quite alright, Karin. Could you please knock before opening doors?“ 

She seemed to shrink a few centimeters. “Yes, of course. Sorry. I’ll wait outside, Suigetsu is here too, please don’t hesitate to ask for anything.“

“I think we’re done here, anyway.“ Orochimaru smiled at Karin, who beamed back at him, clearly relieved. “We’re heading to Konoha, I’ll probably stay there for a while. Tell Suigetsu to gather his things and follow, you’ll hold position here.“ 

Karin nodded hastily, disappeared behind the door again, and was heard quickly telling Suigetsu to “get his fucking shit real quick“. 

When Orochimaru too had gathered his things and stepped outside, where Tsunade had decided to wait for him and Suigetsu, it had started to rain. Suigetsu seemed pleased, Tsunade looked like a bad day had just gotten worse.   
Orochimaru could sympathise with that feeling, especially since his hair already started clinging to his neck and shoulders. In an hour, they would be soaked. 

“How are things in the leaf, apart from the problem at hand?“ Orochimaru asked.

“You can take your small-talk and shove it up your ass.“ Tsunade replied. 

Suigetsu coughed. 

“Ever so polite. Will you at least tell me why exactly it is that we have to resurrect the first Hokage all of a sudden?“

“No.“

“Tsunade, you do realise I will be in the room with you when you speak to him anyway?“  
“Maybe so, but I don’t want to speak to you, so just shut up until we reach Konoha.“ 

Orochimaru let her have the last word. Fighting with Tsunade surely wouldn’t help his situation. Suigetsu, apparently feeling bad for him, made some friendly comments about the environment, the weather, how nice the rain was. Orochimaru was surprised to feel thankful rather than annoyed. 

The entire trip felt incredibly different from the one a few months back. He remembered the excitement of seeing Konoha and Kabuto again, on his terms.   
Now, with the prospect of having to work with Kabuto under Tsunade’s command, he almost dreaded the meeting.   
He had stopped working for people for the very same reason. Though Tsunade was probably an easier to read superior than Danzō had been.   
Konoha looked different in the rain. The usually so colourful city looked incredibly bleak and since it was just past midnight when they arrived, it was also almost entirely too dark to see. Orochimaru felt like some lanterns would have done the city well, but clearly the people of the leaf felt different about that. He had wondered about it when he was a child, and he continued to wonder about it now. Why did people enjoy stumbling in the dark? He doubted that melatonin production for better sleep was the reasoning behind it. 

Tsunade stopped at a rather nice looking apartment and held out a hand with a key to Orochimaru.   
“It has two beds, if you’d like to let your shadow stay with you.“ 

He took the key with a nod. Suigetsu looked ridiculously hopeful. Orochimaru was tempted to tell him to go ask Sasuke if he had a spare room, but Suigetsu had won himself a room with being on his best behaviour earlier.

“It’s fine, you can stay with me.“ Orochimaru tossed the keys over to Suigetsu.

“Thank god.“, he sighed. 

“I thought you liked the rain.“ 

“I also enjoy not sleeping on the street like a homeless person. Been there, done that.“ 

Suigetsu opened the door for him, was exceptionally quiet the entire time before Orochimaru went to bed, and even after that.   
Maybe he had underestimated him as well.   
Maybe he did have the potential to be a new right hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwuchimaru


	6. Compelled

It was incredibly early when Kabuto was rudely awoken by a slap to the stomach.  
“Get up right now, the Hokage and your _fucking ex_ are at the door.“

Kabuto sat up abruptly, feeling awake like he never had before. Immediately, his heart was hammering against his throat like a trapped animal trying to claw its way out of him.  
He stared at Urushi. For just a second he felt like a child again, like he was just a lost boy in an orphanage he didn’t yet know.

“Calm down. You’ll be fine.“ Urushi, who had accidentally mirrored Kabuto’s shocked expression, quickly put on a reassuring (though not very convincing) smile. “Why are they here though?“

Kabuto gathered his thoughts. He wasn’t exactly sure why the Hokage was here again.  
If Tsunade had gone to see Orochimaru and made him come to Konoha, she could have made him perform the Edo Tensei as well.  
So this had to be because of the improvements he had made to Madara. It was the only possible conclusion. Unless they had, for some reason decided to kill him after all.  
_Fair_ , Kabuto thought before he could stop himself.

“I guess I’ll have to go and find out.“, he hated how hoarse his voice sounded — and it definitely wasn’t just because he’d just woken up. Kabuto had fond memories of being a master spy — but he had clearly lost all skill in his time at the orphanage.

He got up, gently pushed Urushi out of the way and grabbed some clothes to take to the bathroom with him. No matter how urgent things were, there were five minutes to brush his teeth, comb his hair and put on some clothes.

He was not a lost boy in an orphanage he didn’t know. He was not a pawn, a subordinate, a second choice and certainly not a gap-filler.  
Orochimaru would just have to wait.

When Kabuto walked down the stairs he felt like either a bride in her dress going to see her husband or a serial killer on the way to his next victim. Certainly one of those, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on which one it was. Either way he was annoyingly nervous — but he would manage.

Urushi had not been lying. In the main hall, Orochimaru was stood next to Tsunade, while Suigetsu was a few steps behind them. Kabuto forced himself to breathe at a natural pace. Annoyingly nervous had been a crass understatement, he was once again doing worse than he had in the war.  
So maybe the natural pace wasn’t working for him, but there was still quite a distance between them so he could remedy that.  
Three seconds in, holding for six, out for nine.  
Slowing his heart rate was about the only thing he could do now but at least he could do something.  
The last few steps felt like a little eternity.

Orochimaru looked even younger than the last time he’d seen him, his features somewhat less angular and more androgynous. It suited him, especially since he’d decided on a white silk kimono this day, Kabuto noted. He wondered if that meant anything. These were the few kinds of things he really didn’t know about him. He didn’t plan on getting to know about them either.

Orochimaru gave him a once-over that would have, at one point, made Kabuto even more nervous but right now it was just irritating. It was also somewhat less intimidating because Suigetsu was standing right behind him, awkwardly waving at Kabuto.

“We meet again, Kabuto.“ Orochimaru smiled at him, but there was nothing friendly about it; a marble statue of a deity, immaculate but cold.

“I assume you need a crash course on the improved jutsu?“, Kabuto asked, ignoring Orochimaru. He was relieved to find that his voice was void of any kind of emotion.  
So maybe he hadn’t lost _all_ of his skill.

Tsunade cleared her throat. “I’m sorry for making it seem like you had an option earlier, but you’re coming with us. Now.“  
Kabuto raised an eyebrow, but decided to not start a fight in front of Urushi. He’d done everything he possibly could by originally declining to help with anything Edo Tensei related. If this was an order, resistance would be futile anyway, especially if he wanted to stay in the orphanage.

“I could just write everything down.“, he offered.

“There’s not a lot of time left and if it turns out that Orochimaru can’t fucking do it, then you will have to. It’s your jutsu. Now could everyone just do what I say? We’re all in danger.“

“In danger of what, Tsunade-sama?“ Kabuto asked, his voice sincere.

Tsunade turned around to leave. “Move.“

Kabuto did as he was told, following behind Orochimaru once again. It felt unreal, he was close enough to touch him. He could have extended his arm and touched his hair.  
Did these count as intrusive thoughts?

Despite living in the orphanage, the way to Konoha always surprised Kabuto. For some reason it was filed under “just around the corner“ in his head, when in reality it took quite some time to get there.

Tsunade led them straight to the leaf hospital. Kabuto guessed this was where they were organically sourcing their human sacrifice from. Probably some terminally ill fool who had agreed to die helping Konoha.

A young girl that had been watering a plant on the counter in the entrance area of the hospital literally dropped the watering can when she saw them step inside. How very dramatic of her. Orochimaru walked past her, chin held high, as if he owned the place. Kabuto grit his teeth. He’d been lowering his gaze every time someone even looked in his general direction. If he still had a hood, he would have pulled it down a little further right about now. Instead, he settled for adjusting his glasses.

They passed a few other people in the hallways that Tsunade led them through, all with similar reactions — quiet gasps, panicked steps backwards, a young man backed into a wall, shaking like a leaf at the sight of them. Orochimaru actually had the nerve to make eye contact until they had passed him. Kabuto adjusted his glasses again. How such a ridiculous amount of arrogance fit into Orochimaru’s dainty new vessel remained a mystery.

His suspicion as to why they were in the hospital was confirmed when they were led into a separated room with a person that Kabuto would have considered dead already. In fact, he would have deemed him biodegradable waste a few days, maybe a week ago already. Then again, he’d been told he gave up on test subjects too quickly.

“We’re here,“ Tsunade whispered.

The person cracked open one eye.  
“Don’t look at me like that. Just get it over with.“

Kabuto watched Orochimaru automatically reaching for one of the blades in his pocket, but Tsunade gestured him to stop. Of course, she would want to do this. He waited for her to say it out loud. Watching shinobi get emotional about these sorts of things was a bit like reading badly written fiction. He’d gotten his fair share of both, unfortunately, the orphanage book selection had been worse when he had been a child. He had already fixed that problem, though, as he had spent an entire salary on books that none of the children had touched yet. Someday, he was sure, one of them would need them, though. When they were failing a medical-ninjutsu or a biology course, at the latest.  
“No, I’ll do it.“

There it was. And her voice was already cracking. He had asked himself this very same question the first time he met her but, how on earth was she a medic, when things like this upset her? Killing this particular person was a mercy.

Watching the way Orochimaru and Tsunade moved around each other was peculiar. Kabuto knew that they had grown up together but seeing them doing even the most mundane things was like watching two actors in a role they’d rehearsed many times. It seemed like they never even had been apart, especially not for decades. Every single one of their movements seemed to be synchronised with the other.  
Orochimaru moved out of her way when Tsunade went digging through a drawer, stepped back to her side when she very clearly had not been able to find what she had been looking for. He held out a senbon needle for her to inspect, placed on his open palm instead of held between two fingers, making it look almost like an offering.

Kabuto assumed it looked kind of similar to what he had been doing to help with experiments. Wordlessly holding out a scalpel, fetching whatever thing that Orochimaru would undoubtedly need next.  
It was bizarre to see _Orochimaru-sama_ assume this role so naturally. He must have been a completely different person around his teammates, then.  
Kabuto hated how much he disliked the thought. He should probably enjoy seeing a new side to Orochimaru, watching him assist someone instead of taking the lead, but all Kabuto wanted to do was push Tsunade out of the window.  
It should really have been more obvious to him with the way Orochimaru didn’t care about how certain people didn’t use his proper honorifics, how Karin and Suigetsu would sometimes talk over him. Even with how patient Orochimaru usually was with his, admittedly rather harsh, criticism. Had been.  
Kabuto hadn’t ever been known for beating around the bush.

“Would you like me to tranquillise them until we get to your desired location? I assume you did not want me to resurrect Hashirama in this particular room?“ Orochimaru’s hushed voice snapped Kabuto out of his thought.

Tsunade looked at him for a moment, mistrust on her every feature, but not too far beneath it was something softer.

“Don’t you dare hurt him, I will kill you.“

Orochimaru gave a wordless nod and let the needle roll towards his fingers and, without so much as turning to face the person in the bed, threw it. It pierced their throat in precisely the right location. Kabuto couldn’t have done it better, for once. But Orochimaru had taught him quite a bit of what he knew about senbon needles, so surpassing him with additional medical knowledge had only been in the smallest details. Maybe Orochimaru hadn’t even noticed.

And there he was again, idly standing by while daydreaming about making Orochimaru see how much he’d learned. Was he a dog, waiting for praise?  
Kabuto took a deep breath. This was exactly why Itachi had used Izanami on him in the first place, so why had it not gotten rid of this? It had left him hating the markings around his eyes, hating how much he now looked like Orochimaru, when all he wanted was to be himself. But otherwise it had done absolutely nothing. _Thanks, Itachi. Very helpful._

“Are you alright, Kabuto?“ Orochimaru looked at him with an expression of concern that Kabuto knew to be as fake as most of his usual demeanour was. He heard his own voice echoed in the question.  
_Are you alright, Orochimaru-sama?_  
He remembered Orochimaru usually being amused by the almost obligatory question, but really, it had never been out of place, Orochimaru had been quite fragile and flirting with death almost daily.

“Fine.“ He shifted his weight from one foot onto the other, wondering if he would really just spend the entire day walking behind the two remaining Sannin and watch them resurrect Hashirama. Again. The man really didn’t get any rest, did he? At this point he should be annoyed just looking at Orochimaru’s face. Kabuto could very much relate to that feeling.

“So, while Tsunade gets this corpse trans—“

“He’s not a corpse,“ Tsunade hissed, “he’s a person.“

“So, while Tsunade gets this person ready for transport, would you like to impart some knowledge, Kabuto?“

“Not particularly.“ He got half a second of some sort of bitter expression flickering over Orochimaru’s features before it was gone again. Kabuto savoured it nonetheless. “I think giving you the research protocol should really be enough, after all, you’re a genius, right?“

Suigetsu sucked in a sharp breath, but Orochimaru just looked at him wordlessly. Kabuto wondered if he was considering to take the bait.

“Very well, then.“ He let a hand run through his hair, brushing a knot out of a few rogue strands. “I don’t suppose you will humour me with details about how you went about this?“

“I’m here because Tsunade-same told me to come as backup, should you not be able to initiate the jutsu.“

“Yes, Kabuto, I know, I was there when she spoke to you about it.“ His voice sounded calm but Kabuto could feel his patience wearing thin. Tsunade, apparently, could as well, because she gestured him to help her.

“Then you should know that I am not here to humour you.“ Kabuto watched as Orochimaru started to help Tsunade with the stretcher.

He didn’t even acknowledge him. Kabuto let his gaze wander and watched a few crows flying past the window. Why was he even so set on making Orochimaru angry? This was childish.

"Orochimaru-sama," he heard himself begin again before he could stop himself.

Orochimaru looked over his shoulder, letting Tsunade handle the corpse for a second.  
"What is it, Kabuto?"

"I suppose I could at least try to explain the notes."

Orochimaru's reply was a quiet laugh as he turned back to Tsunade.

They walked all the way back to the Hokage’s office, Orochimaru and Tsunade carrying the stretcher themselves like they weren’t two thirds of the legendary Sannin, Kabuto awkwardly tagging behind, pretending not to notice passersby’s stares.  
Suigetsu was nowhere to be seen, but Yamato wasn’t either, so Kabuto figured maybe they were better shinobi than he gave them credit for.

Tsunade turned to face him once she had set down the body with such tender care that it seemed to Kabuto she had forgotten about the senbon needle. It wasn’t like they could even feel pain. Even if they could, it wouldn’t change anything about their fate.

“You have half an hour, then I’ll be back and you’ll start. I don’t care which one of you two does it, as long as it goes smoothly.“ The Hokage walked out, slamming the door shut with more force than would have been necessary. Orochimaru just smiled and turned to Kabuto.

“I think I will take you up on your offer to explain your notes to me, if that would be alright with you.“

He grabbed two pillows from a chest and placed them on the ground. The Hokage’s desk was too full to put anything else on there and now, Yamato was standing right outside the window behind it, staring at them. Uncomfortable.

Orochimaru kneeled down on one of the pillows, looking up at him expectantly. Kabuto frowned, but sat down besides him. He placed a scroll onto the floor in front of them.  
_Tori, U, Haru, Mi, I, Tora._  
Words appeared on the scroll and Orochimaru pulled it a little closer.

After a few minutes of complete silence, he made a little guttural sound that had Kabuto fighting off a shiver.  
“This is grand, Kabuto. I can’t say I’m surprised but this really is impressive.“

Kabuto looked away to hide whatever emotion his face was displaying but still caught the victorious grin pulling on the corner’s of Orochimaru’s mouth.  
Of course he knew exactly what to fucking say.  
Kabuto hated him so much.

“It wasn’t that difficult,“ he answered dryly, or so he hoped. “The Nidaime really left a lot up to interpretation anyway.“

Orochimaru didn’t answer but tapped a section on the paper.  
“What does this say?“

Kabuto read it out loud. All these years and Orochimaru still had problems deciphering his handwriting? Or was he making conversation?

“Why didn’t I think of this?“ Orochimaru said, after reading through the scroll a second, and third time.

Kabuto shrugged. “With all due respect, Orochimaru-sama, you tend to be too careless once you understood the basic concept of something but the devil is in the details. One of the downsides of growing up a prodigy, I’d assume.“

Orochimaru looked up at him and there was something in his eyes that Kabuto hadn’t seen before. “Yes“, he said, so quietly that Kabuto wouldn’t have heard it, if he hadn’t seen his lips move.


	7. Give and Receive

Suigetsu tapped his usual pattern against the wall outside the Hokage’s office when Tsunade was approaching. He used it for knocking on doors as well, Orochimaru wasn’t even sure Suigetsu realised he was doing it. Three knocks, a pause, two more knocks. Orochimaru appreciated it, though he wasn’t sure a warning had been needed. They hadn’t yet moved from their spot at all and to be quite honest, Orochimaru would gladly have taken some additional time and maybe another sacrifice to test the jutsu first. He highly doubted that Tsunade would agree with that sentiment, though.

The door opened and a very stressed looking Tsunade entered. “Are you ready?“

Orochimaru stood up and gave her a curt nod. “Yes.“  
He really hoped Kabuto’s improvements to the Edo Tensei were good enough to keep Hashirama in check. The additional steps seemed helpful but the last time Orochimaru had felt the Shodaime’s power, he really hadn’t been sure if there was any way for him to control that at all. The title “god of shinobi“ certainly had felt fitting, though Orochimaru still held more respect for his brother, even though he’d been easier to suppress.

“Will it hurt him?“ Tsunade asked, glancing over at the still body. “I was going to wake him up for his last words.“

“I’m not wasting another needle on someone who already told you to 'just get this over with', Tsunade.“ Orochimaru stood up and tried to smooth out some creases in his kimono.

Tsunade looked at him and slowly nodded. “I hate to say it, but you’re right. I’d be making it worse. I talked to him enough. This still feels wrong.“  
Orochimaru chuckled at the sudden display of emotion. “But Tsunade-sama, you are the Hokage and send shinobi to their death on a daily basis, this could hardly be difficult for you?“

Kabuto, who had stood up as well, made a choked sound and Orochimaru threw him a quick glance, but he didn’t catch it. He suddenly seemed very interested in the plain tiles on the floor in front of him.

“I’m—“ Tsunade sounded increasingly exasperated “Orochimaru, I’m not going to argue with you. Get that jutsu started before I punch you back to the Hidden Sound.“

Orochimaru looked at Kabuto for another second, then started forming the seals. When he pressed his hands to the ground, watching the symbols appear on the tiles, he couldn’t help the small surge of emotion that rushed through him. He hadn’t been able to perform any of these jutsu for so long. The wound in both his pride and body still felt fresh but was now slowly beginning to heal. This hadn’t been done the second he got full control of his arms back, no matter how hard Orochimaru had tried to make himself believe it.

He watched as soil, summoned out of sheer nothingness, began crawling over the limbs of the sacrifice, eventually covering the body completely. It never ceased to be interesting to watch, this particular jutsu. A coffin emerged out of the ground, beautifully ornamented wood, quietly creaking in a nonexistent breeze.

Tsunade, visible only in his peripheral vision, turned away and looked at the wall instead.

Then, as quickly as it had started, the jutsu was done. The coffin opened with a final, drawn out creaking sound and revealed a slightly confused looking Hashirama Senju. He took a tentative step outside, scanning the room.

“You again?“, he looked at Orochimaru, tilting his head to the side. “Is… did everything turn out alright since last time we spoke?“

Orochimaru nodded. “Very much so. We’re at peace. Your granddaughter,“ he gestured in Tsunade’s general direction, “apparently has an important question.“

Hashirama turned his head slowly, looking at Tsunade, who was now technically speaking, older than him, in sheer, unsubdued surprise.  
“Tsuna?“, his voice cracked.  
Oh, how endearing. Orochimaru turned away, only to notice hat Kabuto’s expression showed what he was thinking. Maybe not to the untrained eye, but he had plenty of time to learn what every minuscule crease in Kabuto’s brow meant. Worry, anger, grief — all of these usually were only a matter of millimetres of a difference on Kabuto’s face. And that right there were Orochimaru’s thoughts exactly, just on his former right hand man’s face.

“Gramps.“ Orochimaru heard Tsunade stumble towards Hashirama, followed by a soft thud and the sound of fabric rustling. He questioned the importance of her question only for a moment, because she started speaking again right after he had finished his thought.  
“I’m so, so sorry I had to do this, but it’s incredibly important. There’s a series of earthquakes coming towards us and I found this scroll that says that you had already put a seal in place, but I can’t activate it — the scroll is completely illegible, someone must have— “, She was sobbing already.

Orochimaru looked back up at Hashirama who had begun stroking her back soothingly. Earthquakes? Strong enough to warrant this? Surely there had to be a mistake?  
But… would they reach the Hidden Sound?

“Oh. That scroll.“ Hashirama’s voice sounded almost apologetic. He let Tsunade go.  
“Yeah — I spilled coffee on that. I meant to re-write it but I never got around to… Nevermind. I can show you how to activate the seal, it’s not actually very difficult, don’t worry, it will completely stop any earthquake.“  
Tsunade wiped at her face, still sniffling, and nodded.

Orochimaru didn’t even know what to think. He looked from Tsunade, who was apparently unable to deal with earthquakes, to Hashirama, who just might have been entirely unfit to be in charge of people’s lives. He looked back at Kabuto, who, this time, actually returned his gaze instead of averting his eyes. He was thinking the exact same thing again. Orochimaru felt a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth and, much to his surprise, Kabuto almost returned it.

Eventually, Orochimaru had to remind Tsunade, who had started going through her plan to protect Konoha with Hashirama, to wrap things up. She seemed unhappy enough about it, but still didn't argue. She had always been quite reasonable, despite what anyone might say about her, despite the gambling and her temper.

Once Tsunade and Hashirama had said their goodbyes, both looked over at Orochimaru, teary-eyed but determined. He nodded, formed the seals to release the jutsu, and watched as Hashirama's body dissolved into thin air, as if he hadn't been there in the first place. Tsunade reached out, tentatively, and let her hand glide through the air where Hashirama had been mere seconds ago. Then, she gathered herself and turned around to Orochimaru and Kabuto.

"Thank you," she said, and Orochimaru believed that she actually meant it.

He averted his eyes. "Of course. The things I do for Konoha."

She sighed. "You're dismissed. I trust you'll find your way back to the orphanage and the Hidden Sound respectively?"

"Of course, Tsunade-sama. Goodbye." Kabuto was the first to answer and the first to leave. Orochimaru watched as the door fell shut behind him just seconds later. Of course he'd be gone the moment he got the opportunity to. In fact, Orochimaru was sure that he wasn't even going to walk back to the orphanage but take the quickest route across the rooftops, probably disguised as a chunin. It always had been his favourite.

"I'm sure I'll see you around, Tsunade."

Once Orochimaru was back outside, he decided that he might as well use the remaining time in Konoha, there was no use in rushing back home.

"I have something else to do, you're free to do whatever," he said, while holding the keys out to Suigetsu, who had followed him outside. He was still remarkably quiet, Orochimaru should probably ask him about it once they were back home. For now, he just enjoyed it.

"Sure. Have fun." Suigetsu took the keys, and was, not unlike Kabuto, gone in the blink of an eye.

The sun had already passed its zenith and Orochimaru admired the golden hue while he walked over to the fringes of the forest. Word had it that Uzumaki Naruto had put up a memorial stone for Jiraiya somewhere around here. Orochimaru let his intuition guide him, and sure enough, it worked.

  
The first thing he noticed about Jiraiya's memorial was a bouquet of flowers. He wondered who had brought it, but decided not to check the small paper attached to it. There was also a rather soggy copy of Jiraiya's first book stuck to the muddy ground.

Orochimaru kneeled down in front of the simple stone, ignoring the stains his kimono would undoubtedly get.

“Good afternoon, Jiraiya,“ he whispered, bowing his head to what wasn't quite a grave.

There was no answer, the forest was as silent as the stone in front of him. No matter how different the deciduous trees of the Hidden Leaf were from the rainforest and bamboo that grew around the Hidden Sound, this place still felt like home.

Orochimaru only remembered to get up when his knees started hurting. He looked up at the sky. Dark blue was starting to turn into black rapidly.  
It was time to get back.

Still, he decided to get another cup of tea on the way back home.  
Maybe he should pick up some food for himself and Suigetsu as well, though maybe Suigetsu wanted to go out and explore Konoha’s food stalls. No matter.

Orochimaru decided on the same place he chose the last time he had visited Konoha. A pretty, small tea house with tatami flooring and beautifully ornamented shoji screen doors. He even used a transformation jutsu as to not disturb the people inside. While he certainly preferred his own appearance to his go-to disguise form, scaring people was boring, mostly. Unless he was walking around with Tsunade. Oh, the talk she’d have to listen to for days on end.

After he had sat down and ordered, his gaze fell on an old lady sitting alone a few tables away from him. She’d been looking at him, and now that their eyes met, she waved. He mimicked her gesture with a warm smile. However, when she slowly got up and walked over to him, he briefly wondered if he had made a mistake.

“Would you mind if I sat with you?“

“Of course not,“ Orochimaru gestured to the empty space beside him.

“It’s nice to see that today’s youth is so friendly,“ she sighed happily as she sat down beside him. “This place is lovely, isn’t it?“

“It is.“

“Why are you here all by yourself?“

Orochimaru smiled. Old ladies, somehow, were just a species of their own. He remembered when a group of three women, seemingly twice his age, had tried to sell him rice in his own hideout after a certain guard had not been able to shoo them away at the door. Suigetsu had been incredibly apologetic about it as well, mouthing “I am SO sorry“ at him behind the ladies backs over and over again. Clearly, he really had tried everything to get them to leave. Leave it up to Suigetsu to be a formidable fighter and incredibly intimidating if needed, but not being able to tell a few elderly women to go away.

“I don’t mind being by myself,“ he replied.

“I do, though. My nieces are all out of town and I’m terribly bored, you see. What have you been up to today?“

“I was visiting Jiraiya-sama’s grave,“ Orochimaru answered, deciding to humour her for a while, “they say he died a hero, protecting the Leaf.“

She made a thoughtful sound. “Indeed he did! I knew him myself, you know? A terrible brat, but so friendly and brave. Did not deserve to be taken from us so young.“

Orochimaru smiled at her. “You knew him?“

“Yes, yes, see, I used to run a beauty salon when I was a few years younger! He sometimes asked if he could sit inside and write his book. I shouldn’t have let him, really, I heard the book is terrible.“

He was tempted to agree with what she heard, but decided to feign innocence. “I wouldn’t know.“

“Oh, it’s nothing you’d like, sweetheart.“

The waitress saved him from a potential summary of Icha Icha Paradise when she brought over their tea.


	8. Moments of Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically just a few kids diagnosing Kabuto with, uh, introvertism. But I mean, as long as things are getting slightly better for him, right? 
> 
> Also, I'm sure he'll talk to Orochimaru at some point in this story. Maybe I could have chilled with tagging this fanfiction "explicit" just yet -- considering these guys didn't even touch pinky fingers yet.

Urushi had not stopped talking to him for an entire hour. Kabuto had tried his very best to answer his every question, to not snap at him, to just accept whatever he was asking. It had been difficult but he had managed. Now, it was starting to be too much. A well known pain, radiating from his shoulders to his neck and head. 

“Look, Urushi, I’m sorry. I know you’re curious about every detail of what happened and I do want to tell you, but I’m running on empty. I’ve been trying to not fuck things up this entire day and it really wasn’t ‘fun socialising’. If I talk any more my brain will explode, and I can probably back this up with authentic, empirical data for you.“ 

Urushi stopped his barrage of questions to look at him.  
“Did you just… properly explain why you’re not in the mood to talk instead of just leaving the room? Is that character development I’m smelling? Or did Orochimaru kidnap you and leave a fake Kabuto behind for me?“ 

“I promise, I’m just me. Just the Kabuto you named,“ he sighed. 

“In that case: I’m glad you’re making progress. It’s good to hear you did well today. And came back.“ 

Kabuto looked up. Urushi honestly thought he would run off with Orochimaru? Well, he guessed it happened before. Kind of. 

“Of course. But in case you want to ask more questions you will have to offer me a shoulder massage in return because I’m getting a tension headache as we speak.“ 

“No can do.“ Urushi held his hands up, “these are reserved for pretty ladies.“  
Kabuto snorted. “Right. They see a lot of them, I’m sure.“

Urushi wordlessly threw a candy wrapper he had in his pocket at Kabuto and stood up.  
“Okay, sunshine. I’ll ask more questions later when you’ve had a chance to recharge your social battery.“ 

Kabuto plucked the wrapper out of his hair. Sticky.  
Why was everything in this orphanage sticky? 

He let himself fall onto his bed, burying his face in his pillow.  
Apparently he had fallen asleep, because when he heard Urushi’s voice again, accompanied by knocking on his door, it was already dark out.

“Are you closer to full energy now?“, he heard Urushi ask, “because there’s a visitor for you again, popular boy.“ 

Kabuto sat up and rubbed at his nose, where his glasses had left a somewhat painful dent on his skin. He really ought to take them off before lying down if there was any possibility of falling asleep.  
“I’ll be right there.“

He didn’t even have enough time to properly think about who this might be, because when he reached the entrance area, Suigetsu was in plain sight, playing with some kids who tried to grab his hands and legs, which he would transform into water and back again, whenever a little hand tried to reach for him. It was quite the sight.

“Suigetsu.“, Kabuto greeted him with a nod. “What’s up?“ 

“Uh, long story, actually.“ Suigetsu said with a toothy grin. “Mind if I refill my water bottle and we sit down to talk for a bit?“ 

“I don’t think I can help you with anything at all, but alright.“ 

Once they’d found a secluded spot and consequently shooed some children who had followed them away, Suigetsu started complaining about the way to the orphanage.

“I mean really, who built this place? Why is it so far from town? So people are too lazy to come and adopt kids? Is that what they want?“

Kabuto raised an eyebrow. “I assume you didn’t come here just to speak to me about the location of the orphanage? I can assure you, I did not build it.“ 

“Uh, no.“ Suigetsu looked a little crestfallen and took another drawn out sip of water. “Actually—“, he stopped speaking. 

Kabuto waited politely for an entire minute, then cleared his throat. 

“Can’t you just come back with us?“ Suigetsu looked at him with some sort of weird concerned expression that Kabuto couldn’t place.

“What gives?“ Kabuto was genuinely surprised. Orochimaru wouldn’t have sent Suigetsu to ask something like this. 

“You know, we’re like, working really hard and shit is hella difficult. And Orochimaru is super pissed all the time,“ Suigetsu’s whiny tone of voice made Kabuto want to slap him already. No wonder Orochimaru was ‘super pissed all the time .’ “I think he’s kinda down without you as well! You guys are both really weird, but in like, different ways, together you were… well not normal, but more … well… ugh.“ Suigetsu waved his hands around, but it didn’t really help describe what word he was looking for. 

Kabuto rubbed at his temples. “So you’re telling me you came here to ask me to come back because Orochimaru misses me?“ 

Suigetsu made finger guns at him. “That’s it!“

Kabuto found himself at a loss for words for a few seconds. He couldn’t even tell if what he’s feeling was embarrassment, or just second-hand embarrassment for Orochimaru. 

“Suigetsu, just go back. I’m sure you guys will be perfectly fine.“ 

“We really aren’t, though. There’s way too much work and also, Karin is making me do all of these —“ 

“Suigetsu.“ 

Much to Kabuto’s surprise, he actually shut up.  
“Just leave.“ 

“Okay, sheesh. Was good talking to you, Kabuchimaru.“ Suigetsu got up, cracking a couple of spinal joints. “By the way, you might want to look into buying some make up to hide those, you look hella creepy.“ He gestured at Kabuto’s face.  
Clearly Suigetsu was as stressed as he had said if he was giving him attitude now. Usually that was reserved for Karin, while Orochimaru and Kabuto had usually been spared. 

Kabuto didn’t bother answering. Actually, he’d probably just go back to sleep. 

The next days were easier. He’d been able to pretty much forget about Orochimaru, about his conspirational glances in his direction and all the trust he’d felt welling up inside him when looking back at him.  
It was a thing of the past and something he had to get over if he wanted his new life to work out. And luck really was on his side, because Urushi had apparently told the kids that Kabuto had worked on something extremely tiring and was still recovering.  
In fact, a few days after the Edo Tensei situation, a few kids came up to him and asked him if he could talk to them for a few minutes because they had a ‘proposal‘ to make. Kabuto agreed, slightly bewildered that they would even ask. 

A small girl with freckles and neatly braided, ginger hair cleared her throat before starting to speak. She seemed oddly proud about something. 

“Kabuto-san, we know you’re trying really hard and you’re working a lot. We see you hauling around all these stacks of paper.“ 

“And you even bought those books that nobody understands!“ Another kid added.  
He raised a brow. “It’s no bother, really — “, he began, but the kids were having none of it.

“Urushi-san explained the concept of extraversion and introversion to us a while ago and we think you’re an introvert.“

That actually made him smile. “Do you, now?“ 

“Yes, you fit the points on the checklist.“ 

Kabuto pushed a rogue hair behind his ear. “Urushi gave you a checklist on introversion?“ 

The girl nodded. “Yup, so we would understand why some of the kids need to be left alone from time to time. Not me, though!!“, she beamed.  
She very clearly was under the impression that being an extrovert was preferable to being introverted.

“But don’t worry about it, Kabuto-san!“, she added quickly, confirming Kabuto’s thought.

He looked at her, interested, and, much to his surprise, not actually annoyed at all. Had the kids always been this cute or was this a particular bunch of kids? 

“Look at this!“ The girl held her hand out and a shy looking, brown skinned boy gave her a piece of paper, which she held up for Kabuto to see. It had some weird kind of sketch on it. 

He squinted at it for a while. It seemed to be some sort of diagram, depicting the hours of the day, the part in the afternoon was circled in red, the words “KABUTO-SAN QUIET TIME“ written in the middle of it. 

Kabuto tried his best not to laugh. It wasn’t even that he thought it was funny, it was just very unexpected and… adorable, really. 

“That’s very sweet of you, but you don’t have to be quiet for hours on end just because—“, he began, but once again, the kids were having none of it. 

“We already talked to the others about it! Urushi-san said it would be a good opportunity to have us use your quiet time to do our academy work! He liked the idea!“ 

Kabuto looked at the kids. Every single one of them seemed incredibly proud, even though some of them looked a little nervous. He guessed he hadn’t really taken the time to talk to all of them personally, so they had every reason to be shy around him. He certainly couldn’t remember any of their names. Kabuto quietly vowed to change that. 

“So, would that be okay with you?“, the freckled girl asked, looking up at him expectantly. 

Kabuto nodded. Really, they were offering him something nice, but still wanted his approval for it. They could be annoying at times but they were truly good kids. Definitely better than he was at their age, even though he remembered not wanting to cause trouble either. 

“Thank you,“ he said, and almost didn’t recognise his own voice. Kabuto didn’t remember the last time he had genuinely thanked anyone, let alone a few children. 

When he passed Urushi in the tatami room the same day, he stopped him to ask about what had happened.  
“I hate to ask, but did you set the kids up to this?“ 

Urushi grinned at him.  
“I knew you were gonna ask, but nope, this was all them. I had a serious teaching session about introversion with them after they annoyed the shit out of this one shy kid the other day. You know I have a soft spot for those.“

“Ah-ha, very funny.“ Kabuto started walking again. What had he hoped this conversation to be like? Anything else would have been surprising, really.

“Hey, Kabuto.“  
He looked back. Urushi smiled at him warmly, like he never started a war and endangered everyone in Konoha. 

“The kids really like you. They actually want you to be happy. This was their idea. I promise.“ 

Kabuto sighed. “So you keep saying, but honestly, what would they like about me? I mostly keep away from them.“

“The other day this little boy said that he hit his head on a door and you talked to him all calm and quiet — it was apparently very helpful. He was very proud to announce to me that Kabuto-san took care of him personally. You’re elusive royalty around here.“ 

Kabuto snorted, despite being weirdly flattered by this. He was pretty sure he had told the kid something along the lines of ‘it's just a scratch’ and ’you’ll be fine in a few minutes’.

With a quiet sigh, Urushi took a step towards him again. There was something in his eyes that told Kabuto he was about to hold one of his mini speeches again.  
“Honestly, you’re not taking it seriously enough, but I’ve seen you speak to the kids. You seem to think, for some reason, you’re being cold towards them, but you’re not. You’re being your usual, slightly too-polite boring self. They don’t think anything of it, they just think it’s nice to be treated politely. They’re orphans, Kabuto. They’ve had worse than you being not entirely loving and warm all the time. Do I really have to spell things like this out to you?“

He rolled his eyes at Kabuto opening his mouth to answer, and closing it again when nothing came to mind.

“They don’t see Orochimaru in you. They don’t even know him.“ 

Kabuto didn’t even try to open his mouth this time.


	9. Distorted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Death, Blood, Human Experimentation / Cloning, Vomit, Very Dubious Ethics. Just classic Orochimaru, I guess.

Until twenty minutes ago he had been working away at some of Konoha’s files, making sure the shinobi system he had put in place in the Hidden Sound was according to the guidelines. It seemed fine, pretty much exactly what the Hidden Leaf had wanted. So far their cooperation was going incredibly well. It was a bit annoying to be monitored but it did save him the trouble of having multiple different hideouts that he had to check in on. Right now, the place he currently was working and living in was the only place he really had restored. The other hideouts were still collecting dust.

Rather unexpectedly, Orochimaru was forced to put down the scroll he had been looking at.  
Tiny, grey spots had appeared in his vision and were slowly merging into a crescent moon shape that basically rendered one of his eyes useless.   
How he hated it. He slowly got up and made his way towards the kitchen.   
_Something caffeinated._

He was in luck, Karin had apparently made some coffee earlier and forgotten about it. It was cold, only three quarters were left, and there were lipstick stains on the mug but Orochimaru didn’t care. He was just glad he didn’t have to brew one himself.  
He walked over to his room, undressing while still walking towards the bed. He let his clothes fall to the floor in a sad heap, let his body drop onto the pillows and buried his face in his hands. How long would it take? He estimated that he had another ten minutes until the pain hit.   
Enough time to drink at least some of his newly acquired beverage, get somewhat comfortable and close his eyes for a while. 

The coffee was disgusting but luckily exactly what he needed. The cold helped soothe his mind, the extravagant amounts of sweetener (he suspected that it was honey even though it was difficult to tell for sure since the coffee was extremely strong) helped with his blood glucose levels. He sighed into the cup. Migraines had been so much easier to navigate with Kabuto around. 

_“Orochimaru-sama, you’ve been stuck on the very same page of that book for five minutes now. Are you alright? How is your head?“_

_He looked up. Kabuto was right._

_“How do you notice these things before I do? I am feeling a little hazy.“_

_“It’s my job to notice these things before you do,“ Kabuto sighed. “I have some caffeine powder, I’ll get that ready for you. Just leave the test tubes, let’s get you into bed first.“_

_Always with the plan of action. Orochimaru enjoyed the structure, it was a ritual that worked wonders. His migraines had always been way worse in the past when all he’d been doing to get rid of them had been trying to ignore them for as long as possible until he either threw up or was forced to lie down from sheer dizziness and pain. Or both._  
_But Kabuto’s checklist did the trick every time. Usually without any additional medication, which was surprising, given the intensity of the episodes._

_“Come,“ Kabuto said, keeping his voice down even though the pain hadn’t even quite started yet. Orochimaru followed him, leaving the test tubes behind like he was told._  
_Dropping any task before it was finished was annoying, but somehow Kabuto had gotten him to the point where he was sure that he could leave things up to him. He’d never quite trusted anyone with things like these. His life had taught him that if he wanted something done right, he needed to do it himself, but Kabuto was an exception to that rule. In fact, leaving things to Kabuto had sometimes yielded better results than doing them himself, especially if it was work that Kabuto could lose himself in._

_When Orochimaru shrugged out of his Hakama jacket, Kabuto was behind him to grab and fold it before placing it in a neat stack on his bedside table._  
_He hadn’t even seen him leave to get his robe earlier, but for some reason Kabuto was holding onto that as well, offering it to him when he’d stepped out of his pants._

_“Thank you, Kabuto. What would I do without you?“_

_Kabuto just gave him one of his elusive smiles and turned to start mixing the caffeine powder with some water._  
_Orochimaru buried himself beneath an excessive amount of blankets, knowing full well that he’d be freezing in a few minutes. The cold was nice on his head, but he remembered too many occasions where his limbs had gone completely numb while he’d been busy trying to deal with his head._  
_He closed his eyes and visualised where the pain was. Right by the inner corner of his left eye, below his brow. Orochimaru gently rubbed at the spot._

_“Good thing it’s just the left side, Orochimaru-sama.“ Kabuto offered him a glass of water. He was right, the other side usually meant he’d be out of commission for at least two days, -- but maybe three. The pain on the left side was, for some reason, easier to deal with. And didn’t lead to him throwing up, which was a nice bonus._

_“Yes,“ he agreed quietly, taking the glass with a small nod. He couldn’t even taste the caffeine. Kabuto could quite literally poison him and he’d be none the wiser until it would be too late._

_“Would you like me to still fetch you something for the pain?“_

_Orochimaru shook his head. It would most likely pass. He closed his eyes again. There is was, like tiny needles stabbing at his eye from the inside. One of his least favourite feelings, but he’d take it over not being able to get a sufficient amount of oxygen into his lungs any day._

_Kabuto sat down on the side of the bed so casually that Orochimaru almost laughed at the gesture._  
_“Sit up.“ Kabuto said, holding up a pillow to prop him up on._  
_Orochimaru did as he was told._

_“Close your eyes.“_  
_He loosened the collar of Orochimaru’s robe slightly when he’d done as he was told, and started drawing invisible lines along his collarbones._

_Orochimaru smiled.“Is that part of your medical inventory?“_

_“No,“ Kabuto answered, but didn’t elaborate._

What Orochimaru would have given to have Kabuto run his fingers along his collarbones, his arms, his throat and jaw now.   
Technically speaking, he could get some fool to do exactly that, but it wouldn’t have been the same. It would also have prevented Orochimaru from closing his eyes or relaxing at all, which certainly was helpful with migraines, but not possible with _'some fool'_ in his room.  
  
The pain came in waves, cyclical like life itself.   
Orochimaru let it wash over him with a bitter smile and reached for his opium pipe.  
On the one hand, he was somewhat thankful for a body that could handle smoking, on the other, passing out from coughing sounded quite tempting at this point.

Hours later and after what would have been an overdose to anyone else, Orochimaru crawled out of bed again, feeling very much like a corpse emerging from their coffin. Then again, Senju Hashirama certainly had looked more alive than he felt right now. 

How pain seemed to find him, no matter the vessel, was infuriating.   
The deoxyribonucleic acid he'd taken from White Zetsu had not been able to fix that particular problem. 

He sat down at his reading table and reached for a matchstick. It was a nice ritual, lighting some incense and candles after being too sensitive to smell and light to even think about it.   
_Senju DNA._  
Orochimaru watched the smoke rise from the embers.   
Would it be possible to line the DNA up in a way that would allow him to stay in a body like that without pain? Would it be possible to genetically engineer something perfect? A perfect vessel? Something he could upgrade from time to time when he found a new bloodline limit he was interested in?   
The smoke danced around in little circles.   
He probably could. As long as Konoha was not looking too closely. 

Orochimaru let the thought run back and forth in his mind for a while before deciding to check his own notes. Even after all these years, starting new projects seemed daunting and he had to talk himself into it and look at his own work in order to prove to himself that he had done similar things before.

And so began a new era of experiments.   
Both Suigetsu and Karin did their best to keep up with the sudden burst of creativity when it came to testing. Orochimaru knew he would have to talk to them sooner or later, but for now they seemed happy enough to help without asking too many questions. They had known him for years and he was sure both of them realised that his inspiration wasn't so much bound to discipline at certain times each day but rather came crashing down on him from time to time, keeping him up for a days on end and making everyone else question his sanity. 

It probably wasn't the healthiest, spending the better part of a year cooped up inside an only partially lit laboratory without any direct sunlight at all. Orochimaru suspected his vitamin D levels were at an all time low, and he had never really given his skin the chance to produce any melanin in the first place, so it really was saying something. He made a mental note to stock up on some sublingual drops to remedy that.  
Even Karin had remarked that he was looking "paler than usual" and by that, Suigetsu had clarified for her, she meant "almost see-through.".  
That was enough to at least make Orochimaru consider taking the occasional walk through the forest again but not quite enough incentive to actually do it.

Creating vessels wasn't difficult as much as it was unusual.   
It was something Orochimaru had not considered before, and now, looking at the pale boy submerged in amniotic fluid, he wondered why he had not.   
He had all these samples of bloodline limits, all this unused potential and he had wasted all this time to give them to live humans instead of just working out something entirely new. Now, he had the opportunity to potentially give them to this boy in order to get them for himself later. There would be some time to adjust things as well, if needed, because the body was about 15 years of age now, and Orochimaru would have to wait another two years before he'd be able to use his transference jutsu again. 

Orochimaru pressed a hand to the cool glass separating him from the body. It was labelled "Ichi", because he suspected there'd be several more tries after this. The Edo Tensei took him ages, he doubted creating clones from separate cells would be any different. Waking the boy up would be interesting, he wasn't sure how human consciousness was formed and when exactly nature willed it into existence. Surely a functioning brain would always have thoughts, no matter if it was grown in a glass filled with entirely synthetised but nature identical amniotic fluid or an uterus. For this particular clone he had utilised a brain almost 70% suitable for his purposes from a (surprisingly enough) entirely willing participant -- only parts had to be attached in-vitro. 

But now, it was time to see if his work would pay off. Orochimaru wondered how exactly the boy would respond to him. Confused, probably. But would he be able to use language, would he have any concept of humanity at all? He was pretty certain the bits of brain he used were very much capable of thought even though they didn't technically belong together in the way that they were arranged now. Was creating life really as easy as sewing up a few corpses and adding whatever he liked? Was creating humans just a slightly more complex version of baking a cake?

With a slightly shaky hand, he pressed the button that would drain the fluid from the glass, and hopefully wake his experiment up. Suigetsu sucked in a sharp breath.   
Orochimaru had thought about sending him away, but his presence, weirdly enough, calmed his nerves. How badly could things go if a goofball like Hozuki Suigetsu was standing right beside him?

A choked sound was the first thing that escaped the boy's lips upon making contact with the air. Breathing probably felt weird to him. Orochimaru gently patted his back and the boy coughed, fluids splattering everywhere from Orochimaru's kimono to the hand he used to stabilise the boy, who seemed threateningly close to falling over even though he was sitting down. 

"Where am I?", he asked, his voice a broken, quiet rasp. 

Orochimaru smiled. Not only could he speak, he clearly had a concept of being a person.   
"In a safe place," he replied. "Let's get you dried off." 

"Who are you?" 

"I," he began, while standing up and gently pulling the boy up with him, "am Orochimaru." 

The question that Orochimaru truly had expected never followed. The boy just looked at him wordlessly, some sort of profound sadness in his eyes. It was just beyond words but Orochimaru felt like he could _almost_ understand. 

Suigetsu held up a robe and wrapped the kid in it.   
"Holy shit," he said, looking at Orochimaru, very clearly torn between terror and awe. 

'Holy shit' indeed, Orochimaru thought.  
He had created independent life from a few cells. 

"I'm not..," Ichi began with a voice barely audible, "feeling well."

Orochimaru checked his pulse. Weak, but definitely there.   
"Can you describe your symptoms so I can help you?", he prompted.

"I feel weird,"   
_That wasn't exactly helpful._

"and sad."  
_Even less so._

The boy threw up; an eerily beautiful mixture of transparent fluid and blood splattering onto the floor. 

Suigetsu hurried closer and helped Orochimaru with supporting the boy's weight.   
"That's not a good sign, right?"

Orochimaru looked at the pool of blood and took a deep breath.  
"No, Suigetsu. It is not." 

"Hey, Ichi," Suigetsu patted the boy's shoulder. "Do you want me to put you down? If I lift your legs you'll feel less dizzy and you'll have more blood flowing towards your head."

"Wasn't that enough?", was the deadpan reply.

Suigetsu grinned.  
"Ha. I like him." 

Orochimaru, ignoring the two, gently pushed Ichi onto Suigetsu.  
"Give me a minute. Don't let him move too much."

Ichi sighed.   
"You're my babysitter?"

Suigetsu nodded. "Pretty much. Suigetsu, at your service."

"Hey, Suigetsu. Please tell me I'm not called "Ichi" because I'm the first person to crawl out of that thing," he gestured weakly at the glass cylinder. 

Suigetsu looked over at Orochimaru, who was digging around in a drawer.  
"Uh." 

"Alright. Just don't say it." 

Suigetsu nodded slowly.   
"Sorry."

"Is that your fault?"

Suigetsu considered this.  
" _My fault_?"

Orochimaru, who had stepped back to their sides, offered Ichi a cup, filled to the brim with a clear liquid. 

Ichi looked at it for a second but took it without question.  
"Bottoms up," he muttered.

"It'll help your blood pressure and general fatigue," Orochimaru said, quietly. 

"Thank you." Ichi's eyes looked similar to Orochimaru's. He hadn't really seen them before. It was a bit like looking at someone who, in another life, could have been his brother. 

"Technically speaking you shouldn't really need sleep, but we have a bed prepared for you nonetheless so you can rest, if you'd like that."

"Will you stay with me?"

Orochimaru was taken aback. "If you want me to." 

"Suigetsu, too?"

Suigetsu nodded, looking crestfallen.  
Even he could feel that there was nothing they could do for him. There was no question of "can you help him, Orochimaru-sama?".

The Gods knew he could not.   
But he _could_ find out what exactly had gone wrong. 

Not much later, they were sitting on Ichi's bed, each nursing a cup of tea.  
"I'm sorry this isn't what you guys were hoping for."

Suigetsu opened his mouth but Orochimaru spoke before Suigetsu could answer.  
"Don't be. You didn't consent to any of this."

Ichi smiled, looking at him with that knowing expression of his.  
"Consent doesn't seem to be your strong suit. You live in a mostly underground lab with a few people that seem quite scared of you."

"Hm," Orochimaru took a sip of tea, "I'll have to hook you up to the machinery in a bit."

"I figured. Hopefully you'll find something helpful."

"I will, this is part of the process."

"Then it's fine, isn't it? It's not like I had anything to do."

Orochimaru shrugged. "None of us really do."

"You have more time to think about it, though. Either way, thank you for staying with me."

" 'least we can do," Suigetsu muttered, clearly uncomfortable with the turn of events.   
To him, anything would have been preferable to a drawn out conversation on a deathbed. Orochimaru was fairly certain Suigetsu would have preferred Ichi to just die on the spot, but that wouldn't have been nearly as insightful. Maybe he should have told Suigetsu to leave.

Ichi took Orochimaru's free hand and intertwined their fingers.  
"Are you going to use my parts for anybody else?"

Orochimaru looked at their hands, then let his eyes wander up to meet Ichi's.   
"Why do you ask, would you like a proper funeral?"

He quickly shook his head.   
"Not at all, I think it would be interesting to see if you can fix this. I could be someone. Maybe I could help you later."

Orochimaru doubted that there was any possibility of Ichi's body retaining his memories if he took the still usable parts of his body and added them to a new vessel. 

"I don't think that's possible, but I will try," he said, putting down his cup of tea to rub Ichi's cold hand between his. "Are you in pain?" 

Ichi shook his head. "No, I think I actually feel better than earlier. Is this as bittersweet to you as it is to me?" 

Orochimaru crossed his legs.   
"It's mostly frustrating, but I truly am sad to have to let you go."

Ichi looked at him, staying quiet for a long while.  
"I'm sad you have to let me go, too," he said eventually. "It's time, though. It feels like there's something heavy on top of my chest." 

"I'll get you some anaesthetic, it'll be like falling asleep," he said while reaching for the already prepared needle. Orochimaru had almost hoped that he wouldn't have to use it.   
He held it up for Ichi to inspect before placing the tip on his antecubital fossa. 

"In that case, will you kiss me goodnight?" Ichi asked, sounding somewhat amused even though his expression was the quiet sadness he'd worn this entire time. 

Orochimaru pushed the needle in while leaning down to kiss Ichi's forehead. 

"See you, Suigetsu, Orochimaru," Ichi whispered.

Suigetsu turned away and stared at the empty wall on the opposite side of the room.  
"See ya, dude."

Orochimaru pulled back, watched Ichi's eyes flutter shut; and put on some sterile gloves.  
"Let's see why that didn't work out, then."   
_Now, where was the scalpel?_ He could have sworn he took it with him earlier.

Suigetsu cleared his throat.   
"Do you need me for that?"

Orochimaru threw him a quick glance and decided to not press the issue.  
"I'll manage. Go get some fresh air."  
He cursed his brain for offering him ' _If Kabuto were here this wouldn't have happened in the first place_ ' as the stupidest piece of advice he had heard in a long time.


	10. The Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Su*cide mention (VERY brief, but still! stay safe! love you k bye!)

Kabuto's life had somehow taken a turn he, for whatever reason, hadn't expected. Even when coming back to the orphanage, he didn't expect staying there, stupid as it sounded.  
He had never stayed in one place for too long and now it had cornered him into a spot that was just the right size for him to stay inside, still and unmoving, never to find his way out again. He hated how he fit into spaces like that. He always fit but never belonged. It was like pouring water into the spot where a missing puzzle piece should go. Maybe there had been a place he had belonged once but that had been a very different decade of his life.

After half a decade in the orphanage he knew exactly which tasks he should leave to Urushi and which ones he should do himself. Aiming to achieve maximum efficiency was second nature to him; but it very clearly had not been how this place was run before his fateful arrival.

After seven years, he sometimes found himself on the porch, drinking beer with Tanaka, Kazumi and Urushi. The sheer routine of it all had started melting his days into each other and every once in a blue moon, he noticed that he hadn't even had a thought that didn't concern his work in the orphanage in weeks. Hobbies? Kabuto had never heard of those. Nothing really was of interest to him at all, especially not anymore.   
He couldn't remember the last time he opened a book.  


After eight years, Uzumaki Naruto actually managed to become Hokage.   
And Yakushi Kabuto? He'd been announced the new head of the orphanage. Started a war, then managed to become the head of Konoha's orphanage.   
The Hidden Leaf was truly the only city capable of such an atrocity, Kabuto had to admit.

Ten years. Urushi had gotten him a present as if it was his birthday and not his anniversary at a workplace. As if it was worth celebrating. What had the present been, again?

Fifteen years. He idly wondered if letting himself fall from the window next to his bed would result in his death.

It probably would not. 

Kabuto, who had just finished brushing his teeth, wiped some splattered toothpaste off his mirror. The face looking back at him looked old.   
It was funny, really, seeing the first fine lines around his eyes.   
He had looked at those eyes, these purple markings so many times but they had never changed, the skin had remained firm.   
His version of them had aged. A bit faster than he would have liked, actually.   
Golden eyes, slightly hazier than he remembered from Orochimaru, unfocused without his glasses. Cheeks less rounded than they had been only a few years ago, with skin that had certainly lost some collagen already. 

He turned away from the mirror, threw the towel he had used to wipe it with in the wash and made a mental note to do some laundry today. It was flu season after all and he was certain washing the kid's bedding would do all of them good.   
He didn't have much to do these days as the kids that did go to the shinobi academy actually had one of the Genin teams help them out with academy work. Tanaka had asked for that and while Kabuto hadn't offered his opinion on the subject, he welcomed it. He could use the free time slot in the afternoon (which was still somehow dubbed "Kabuto-san Quiet Time" even by the other caretakers) to work on some of the things that somehow never got done, no matter how often he put them on his calendar.

He had seen Uzumaki Boruto a few times now, the spitting image of his father but thankfully not quite as loud. The little Uchiha and the other kid in their team were fairly quiet and generally rather unremarkable. They did, however, help out rather efficiently without causing distractions for anyone.   
This was something the original team seven would never have managed, Kabuto was sure.

Of course, while he was lamenting about how quiet the new team 7 was, the silence was pierced by a harrowing scream. Definitely an adult, as well.  
Kabuto was already on his feet and sprinting to see what on earth had happened.

Before him were the three Genin.   
Two of them, Uzumaki Boruto and Uchiha Sarada, stood frozen in shock in front of the third party member. 

He was splattered with blood and had two orphans holding on to him.

Kabuto rushed closer and came to a skittering halt next to the kid, who told the orphans to "Hurry inside now" with a voice barely more than a low whisper, polite and entirely collected.   
The way he spoke was certainly odd for a kid, even for Konoha standards, Kabuto thought while assessing the damage. 

There was a pool of blood right beside them, with a single torn off arm lying in the middle of it.   
Kabuto glanced at the Genin next to him, who caught his gaze and slowly turned his head to look up at him with that eerie calm that had surrounded him this entire time. 

Slanted, serpentine eyes with irises an unmistakable shade of gold.   
Kabuto felt his blood pressure drop. 

The Genin smiled at him, "The children should be fine, I made sure they were covering their eyes at least to keep psychological trauma to a minimum. I apologise for the inconvenience.", he stated politely, but so entirely unaffected that it almost seemed bored. 

"Urushi-, no wait, Kabuto-san" Uchiha Sarada, who had shaken off her initial shock yelled, "It's not Mitsuki's fault. These people," she gestured wildly and in no particular direction, "-- I think they were after me!" 

"Yes!", agreed Uzumaki Boruto, who had taken a few seconds longer to snap out of his stupor, nodding his head frantically "Mitsuki saved us!" 

Kabuto sincerely considered sitting down for a second but decided to push through what was a wave of confusing emotion threatening to asphyxiate him.   
"Who attacked you? Where are they now?", he managed to ask.

Mitsuki pointed at the pond next to them wordlessly. The water did look a little more rusty and definitely murkier than usual.

* * *

A little while later, Kabuto sat inside with the three Genin, while Urushi had taken care of the scared orphans and sent poor Kazumi to contact Konoha about the mess outside.   
Urushi had told him to calm the Genin down, but really, there was no calming down to be done. The Uchiha girl seemed a little nervous and Uzumaki Boruto was slightly on edge as well, but neither of them seemed distressed to the point where Kabuto speaking to them would have helped at all.   
And of course Mitsuki hadn't been anything but calm the entire time. 

Kabuto tried to remember the first time he had seen the boy. It must have been a few weeks prior, but he never really cared about the Genin. After all, they were there to help with academy work, he really had nothing to do with them. And he truly hadn't been interested in what was happening in Konoha. Kabuto realised that, in fact, he hadn't been interested in anything for quite some time now.   
It was like his dull work had lulled him into some sort of trance that he had just snapped out of, upon looking at Mitsuki. 

He threw another glance in the kid's direction and again, Mitsuki caught it and returned it, accompanied by another enigmatic smile. There was still some dried blood in his hair, the crimson a stark contrast to the pale, almost blue toned grey. 

Kabuto was racking his brain to figure out why on earth Orochimaru would have a son and why on earth he would be living in Konoha. It was entirely clear to him that his former master had not settled down with a wife and just raised a child in the Hidden Sound.   
This must be some sort of experiment.   
Very clearly an experiment that wasn't at Orochimaru's side, though. So there had to be some contract with the Hidden Leaf.   
Kabuto was truly and utterly baffled.   
_What on earth was happening?_

He hadn't expected that just going through the motions for a while would lead to him apparently missing everything that was going on outside their sheltered little orphanage. He hadn't even noticed anyone approaching earlier.   
Pathetic, really.

Naruto arrived just a few minutes later. Nara Shikamaru followed him, amusingly enough, like a shadow.   
Kabuto remembered how weird it had been to see Naruto get announced Nanadaime. But honestly, the kid had grown into his job, it didn't necessarily feel peculiar anymore. And he really didn't have much to live up to.

"Shikamaru, take Sarada to Sakura please, bring Mitsuki and Boruto to Hinata, she'll look after them until I get home later."   
He sounded tired. Kabuto stood up to greet him with an apologetic bow.   


"I'm truly sorry for the inconvienience, Nanadaime."  


"It's fine." Naruto's voice was only a rasp. Kabuto felt like he had to clear his throat from just listening to it. "Just tell me what happened and I'll see what we'll do about it." 

Even after all the friendly talk of re-integrating Kabuto into the ranks of Konoha and it's society, Naruto could barely look him in the eye.

He explained, in as much detail as he had gathered from Sarada's slightly frantic story and Mitsuki's silence, what had happened earlier. Naruto didn't seem surprised.  
Kabuto raised a brow. So the Uchiha were still being targeted. What else was new. 

"Kabuto," Naruto began, and Kabuto heard from his tone of voice that this wasn't going to be anything he wanted to hear, "please tell me that you had nothing to do with this." 

Now, Naruto did look at him directly - and he looked just as tired as he sounded. His dream wasn't treating him well.   
Still, Kabuto found it quite amusing, how Naruto expected him to not be able to lie while looking into his eyes. How did a person stay so naive in a world so humbling?   


"I did not," he said.   


Naruto sighed. "I don't know why I'm even asking."  


Kabuto truly didn't know either. 


	11. Son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up:  
> The next chapters will contain both Orochimaru and Kabuto in the same place instead of living their separate lives. The slow burn part of this is almost over. I hope.
> 
> \-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Also, I would like to thank Ana for her incredible amount of help in this.  
> I had such a good time running all my stupid ideas by you and you really made this entire fanfiction writing such a lovely process!   
> You know this already but I am so thankful for being able to talk to you! 
> 
> and now that I'm specifically thanking people:  
> Hey Keth, thanks for trying to check for spelling errors and fucking up just as badly as me. Clearly we're using the same brain cell and it's not working well.  
> It's fine though, it's a fun experience and that's what truly matters.
> 
> And Dina, thanks for sticking with me even though it's not your favourite pairing. Thank you for all the sweet comments and text messages, as well.
> 
> I love you guys!!

Orochimaru was quietly observing the embers in a censer placed in front of him on the bed. His habit of putting things like cups of tea and bowls of incense on surfaces as soft as a mattress was something that people liked to comment on.   
Both Karin's and Suigetsu's voices echoed in his head. Apparently it made them anxious. 

Liquids and embers did not make Orochimaru anxious, neither did the very slim chance of knocking something over. He tried to remember the last time he spilled something but nothing came to mind. He assumed he was merely used to his surroundings. Perhaps other people were overly inept.   
Possibly both, Orochimaru mused. 

At the moment, he was just idly waiting for Mitsuki to contact him. A few days ago he had heard some vague news about trouble close to the boy and he was very curious to learn more on that topic.   
While Mitsuki taking longer and longer to contact him at the appointed times was thrilling, it had also lead to Orochimaru having some more free time than he would usually like. Had it been up to him, relaxing would involve some kind of activity, but he did not want to risk missing a tiny snake by getting lost in the sound of his koto or the depth of an interesting story in a book. 

He stretched his legs out over a few pillows, once again almost hearing a subordinate's voice. This time, one at the same time less and all the more pleasant than the others. 

_That cannot possibly be comfortable, Orochimaru-sama. You're restricting your blood flow._

How many more years would it take him to banish Kabuto's dutiful voice from his mind?  
The one time he had briefly heard it again, when he had to resurrect Senju Hashirama over something as minor as an illegible scroll, had been so brief but still scarring, somehow.   
At the time, he found it interesting, but the complete rejection had been painful nonetheless. He truly had not expected that Kabuto would not return. Even after years -- it still baffled him. 

Small yellow eyes blinked up at him, a faint glow of the embers reflecting off them. 

"Why, hello there," Orochimaru muttered, rolling over onto his stomach to properly regard the snake while speaking.

"Hello, Orochimaru."   
Mitsuki certainly did not sound like there was anything going on but Orochimaru was not surprised. He doubted that Mitsuki would be disturbed by anything as minor as the incident that had been described to Orochimaru earlier. 

"A little birdie told me there was some trouble at the orphanage. I do hope you are alright."

"A bird?"

"It's merely a figure of speech, don't concern yourself with that," Orochimaru purred. He should have considered speaking to the child more before sending him off into the world. No matter. "What happened at the orphanage?"

"Ah," Mitsuki paused for a second, Orochimaru assumed it was to think about the idiomatic expression he learned, "nothing much."

Orochimaru didn't comment, patiently waiting for Mitsuki to go on. Something that could likely take almost a minute, but he was willing to give him the time if that meant a more concise answer. 

"Someone attacked Sarada."   
The answer was certainly brief, but Orochimaru was not as sure about it being concise, exactly. 

"Why do you think that is?" 

"I think it might be because of her Sharingan, it's a precious Kekkei Genkai after all." 

Orochimaru hummed in agreement.

"I believe you might be right." 

"Does it matter?" There was a certain thoughtful quality to Mitsuki's voice that Orochimaru hadn't heard before. Interesting. 

"Hm," he let a finger run across the snake's back, "There's no need for you to worry about it, Mitsuki. I think I might pay you a visit, though. I would like to be close by in case something else happens." 

"I believe I could handle it myself." 

He smiled at the snake. Mitsuki had grown so much in the short time they hadn't seen each other. "Oh, I am certain you can -- but you are my precious child and I would like to offer my support." 

"Alright. Will you stay at my place?"

"I don't believe there will be any need for that. Your apartment is small enough as it is and I wouldn't want to intrude. I shall find myself a room, but you are very welcome to visit."

* * *

While walking around the facility and gathering a few scrolls to take with him to Konoha, Orochimaru got almost run over by Suigetsu, who slid around a corner at precisely the wrong moment. Clearly, neither of them were sensory types. Orochimaru ought to keep his guard up, he told himself. 

"Heavens, Suigetsu. Whatever are you doing?"

"Uh, hiding from Jūgo, mostly, he was about to have an episode and I didn't want to be close by."

"Hm," Orochimaru tilted his head to the side, "Are you not supposed to keep him from destroying the labs?" 

Suigetsu laughed awkwardly. "Technically I didn't leave him alone, though, Karin and Hachi are with him, I just didn't want to be part of the mess this time." 

"If you say so, Suigetsu." Orochimaru took a step back. "If you don't have anything to do at this very moment, you could help me fetch my things, we're going back to Konoha for a while." 

"Oh yeah? Why this time?" 

Orochimaru made his way around Suigetsu, who still hadn't moved an inch despite being in his way.

"To be quite honest, I don't exactly know. There was some trouble with the Uchiha girl and Mitsuki was involved. I just have a bad feeling."

Suigetsu started following him with an overly dramatic sigh. "Your intuition is usually spot on, so maybe we should ask Mitsuki to come back here instead of getting in the way of things. Not like we have to protect Konoha."

"I apologise if I made it sound like this was up for debate." Orochimaru said, idly wondering how long it would take to find a right hand as skilled at fighting as Suigetsu. 

He'd been helpful with Mitsuki as well, though. That, Orochimaru probably wouldn't have found in anyone else.   
The two of them used to play games together. Hide and Seek had been one of their favourites, but it had certainly lead to Orochimaru sometimes accidentally finding either of them in inconvienient spots. Orochimaru faintly remembered opening a cupboard door to get himself a cup of tea, only to find Suitesu crammed in there. He wouldn't have believed that Suigetsu would be able to fit inside such a small spot if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. 

Either way, these two in combination had worked out in Orochimaru's favour, Mitsuki certainly had a bit of a childhood, that way. Log hadn't really experienced the same and he was a lot less inclined to help Orochimaru, most of the time. It was safe to say that Suigetsu's presence actually changed something, for once.

* * *

_Mitsuki stood with his back pressed against Suigetsu's, panting and shaking, when Orochimaru finally decided to come join them. He had spent the past hour watching the two of them fight some very much hired soldiers in a very much planned ambush._

_Leaving Mitsuki in the dark stung a little, but there was always some pain involved in a good solution._

_He quickly finished off the remaining soldiers and rushed to Mitsuki's side, pretending to check his body for wounds._

_"Orochimaru!", Mitsuki seemed relieved to see him._

_He gave him a gentle smile._  
_"I'm sorry I could not be here sooner. I came immediately when I got Suigetsu's message."_

_"I didn't notice you coming..." Mitsuki rubbed at his eyes, sounding slightly upset at this._

_Orochimaru had done his best to keep his presence concealed; it was something he quickly realised he had to do at all times if he didn't want Mitsuki to notice him immediately. Sensor types really were something else entirely._  
_Though his son wasn't quite as skilled as Karin, Orochimaru was entirely sure that he would surpass her sooner rather than later. Mitsuki truly was perfect, both genetically and in practice._

_"You've been fighting for quite some time, you must be exhausted," he reached out, carefully cleaning some blood off Mitsuki's cheek by gently wiping it with his sleeve._

_"I'm fine."_

_"Are you now? Even Suigetsu looks pretty tired."_

_"That's because I am, that was hella exhausting. They just kept coming." Suigetsu agreed, his voice all whine._

_"Well, you're in luck," Orochimaru smiled, "there is an Onsen one or two kilometers from here. We could rest a little. Not that I necessarily worked as hard as the two of you did."_

_Mitsuki looked at him for a while. "You finished them off so quickly."_  


_"Hm." Orochimaru returned his gaze thoughfully, "I have had more time to practice my fighting skills than you have, my child."_

_"Will you spar with me again tomorrow? I would like to improve on my Raiton. Today I wasn't able to use it very often because it tires me out easily. I think I could get better, though."_  


_Orochimaru's smile widened to a toothy grin. "Yes." He was sure Mitsuki could improve on his already marvellous skills as well. Most children labelled a 'prodigy' looked pale in comparison to him._

* * *

Just a few days later, Orochimaru was in a very similar situation, watching his son from a safe distance, trying to assess the situation in Konoha. For now, things seemed to be going smoothly. Since the first attack on the Genin had failed so thoroughly, Orochimaru assumed a second would be planned out more carefully, if there was one to come. 

But either way, it was incredibly interesting to see how closely Kabuto and Mitsuki worked together, really. Kabuto seemed incredibly interested in the child and Orochimaru truly could not blame him. Team 7 had clearly been sent to help the orphans with their homework, but most of the time that was done by just Uchiha Sarada, while Uzumaki Boruto was watching Mitsuki trying to learn the Shousen Jutsu from Kabuto. The Uchiha girl seemed appalled, which amused Orochimaru, since he remembered her mother having a natural affinity for the healing arts.   
But he was not here for the Uchiha. For now. 

An entirely different question was how Mitsuki had managed to get Kabuto to spend time on him in just a few months. And Orochimaru was sure that Team 7 had only been in the orphanage for a few hours each day, maybe even only every couple of days. He really should have asked Mitsuki more questions, but sometimes talking to Mitsuki was like getting blood from a stone. 

It wasn't often that Orochimaru despised being just a spectator while the wheels of the windmill turned without him. He wanted to speak to Kabuto, to finally have him realise that he was missing out on life. But ten years had passed and for someone who had been in their twenties, ten years was a long time. He doubted Kabuto had forgotten about him, but he assumed Kabuto would have moved on by now, at least to some extent. It felt unnatural, unreal. Both of these people belonged to him. Orochimaru was somewhat surprised they were even alive when he wasn't looking. But, much to his dismay, both Kabuto and Mitsuki seemed perfectly content without him, for the moment. If that was the case in general, he did not know.   
He didn't really want to know the answer, either. 

After a while, he noticed he wasn't even paying attention to his surroundings anymore.  
He had gotten slightly sidetracked with observing Kabuto's hands. Apparently Kabuto had tried to show Mitsuki how the subtle movements affected the chakra flow but all it had done was make Orochimaru's head feel foggy in the best way possible.  
Sometimes he did despise being just a spectator.


	12. Slit Pupils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for everyone who came for OroKabu content. I promise it's coming. This is a bonus chapter that I needed to get out of my system because I love Mitsuki.

The moment Mitsuki saw Kabuto for the first time, it seemed like a missing puzzle piece had fallen into place. He remembered trying to imagine what Kabuto would be like, from stories Suigetsu had told him, about his parent working together with a partner once. ‘Easier times’, Suigetsu had said. ‘Orochimaru misses him’, Suigetsu had said. 

Mitsuki, while sitting next to Sarada and listening to Urushi explaining what work they were supposed to help the orphans with, idly wondered if Kabuto had left for any specific reason. Suigetsu hadn’t spoken about that part, and neither had Karin. Both had advised not to start questioning his parent about it, and Mitsuki had listened. Karin and Suigetsu didn’t usually advise him to do anything, so the importance of this was unquestionable. 

Boruto, unable to sit still and listen to Urushi, had gotten up a while ago and was looking through the mission files. Mitsuki assumed he wasn’t reading them as much as he was just flicking through the pages, trying to pass the time. How he got bored so easily was beyond him. Then again, he wasn’t listening to Urushi either. Maybe he should get up as well. Though Mitsuki assumed Boruto was being rude and he decided to not follow suit. 

He looked back to Urushi, who had stopped speaking to look at the clock.   
“Kabuto will be close by, so if you have any questions at all, don’t hesitate to ask him.“   
“Of course.“, Sarada said with a curt nod.   
“Thank you.“, Mitsuki added, though unsure if an explanation of the mission warranted words of thanks. His parent had advised him to thank people for basically whatever they did, no matter if it was part of the mission. As long as it was useful, it was worthy of thanks. And an explanation was useful. Though he hadn’t listened. Mitsuki shrugged the thought off. It didn’t really matter that much. 

Kabuto, who was sitting next to Urushi smiled at them. Even the smile reminded Mitsuki of his parent. It wasn’t anything like when Boruto, Sarada or even Suigetsu or Karin smiled at him. He couldn’t put his finger on what exactly was different about it though. Was it just the slit pupils that didn’t go with a smile?  
“Let’s not make the kids wait too long, I’m sure they’re exited to work with some real Shinobi.“, Kabuto said. His voice did not remind Mitsuki of his parent at all. 

So, soon enough, they were helping the orphans with homework, day after day, week after week. It was a bit difficult to comprehend why some children did not understand certain topics and Mitsuki found out that he was, apparently, a terrible teacher. It was almost impossible for him to understand which part of an explanation someone didn’t get without asking, but of course, Boruto was there to save him, somehow saying exactly what the orphans needed to hear. Mitsuki wondered how he knew, but didn’t question it any further. Boruto seemed to have some sort of intuition that he couldn’t explain to him, Mitsuki assumed. He had asked him about different things earlier but it never helped either of them. Boruto seemed as confused about the questions as Mitsuki had been about the answers. 

After a while, Mitsuki found that Sarada and Boruto were quicker with helping the orphans if he didn’t speak too much to them. He only seemed to confuse everyone further, even though he felt like his explanations were more concise than Boruto’s were. Sometimes, Boruto’s explanations were just different movements with his arms that he explained with onomatopoetic expressions along the lines of “and then you just go like this, woosh!“, but for some reason the orphans understood what he meant. Mitsuki certainly did not. 

Kabuto, who usually spend the afternoons somewhere nearby, was watching over them and occasionally speaking to either a child that came to him with a question, or another adult that needed him to sign something. He definitely looked a lot like Orochimaru, especially when he was just quietly watching them. Mitsuki wondered if Kabuto also viewed everything in life as an experiment. Suigetsu had mentioned that Kabuto and his parent had worked on experiments together, so, maybe.   
Their glances met and Mitsuki smiled, like his parent had advised him to do when making eye contact with someone. Kabuto didn’t really smile back though, he seemed to be looking at some point in the distance. Mitsuki had noticed that a couple of times now. It was like Kabuto was only there physically. Maybe he was working on something in his head. Not for the first time this day, Mitsuki wished that he was better at understanding others. Maybe he could ask Boruto, but he figured this was too weird and too specific a question even for him. 

A few weeks into their homework sessions with the orphans, he watched a child who had apparently hurt their hand, running towards Kabuto to hold the wound up to him. Kabuto, who didn’t even seem to be paying too much attention, just swiped his hand over it once and the wound was gone. That must be incredibly advanced Shousen Jutsu, Mitsuki figured. He didn’t even see the chakra flashing, that’s how fast it must have been. He was used to it at least looking like a dim, green lamp for a minute or so, but he didn’t see any glow at all. Maybe he could ask Kabuto to teach him. After all, he didn’t get to go to Sakura’s medical training that Boruto hadn’t been interested in.

But, he had no luck in asking that particular day.   
First, Kabuto had followed Urushi somewhere else to do something Mitsuki hadn’t understood, and then, of course, the second the adults were gone, two people attacked them. 

Both Boruto and Sarada reacted quickly, getting themselves, as well as the orphans, out of the way. Mitsuki looked around.   
No adults. Kabuto was gone, Urushi was gone.   
He could handle this quickly. This way, the chance of anyone getting hurt was slimmer. Boruto and Sarada couldn’t possibly fight anyone while trying to protect an entire flock of orphans that were clinging onto them and each other for dear life. 

“Close your eyes for a second!“, Mitsuki called, while rushing over to the attackers.   
He didn’t recognise their faces or uniforms. They were cloaked in black, there wasn’t any visible indicator for where they were from. No forehead protectors, no nothing.   
He threw one last glance back at his team and the orphans. The view made him smile, very clearly everyone had trusted him, both Sarada and Boruto had their hands in front of their eyes. So had all of the orphans. Maybe they expected him to throw some kind of flash grenade, maybe they just had done what he had said.   
Either way,   
_**No witnesses.**_

* * *

Anytime Mitsuki entered Sage Mode, his memory was a blur afterwards.   
He remembered snippets of fighting the person that had tried to attack Sarada earlier.   
Their surprised face, a drawn out crunching sound when Mitsuki tore their arm off, the water of the pond slowly turning red.   
Mitsuki hoped he hadn’t accidentally killed the koi fish, after all, those hadn’t tried to attack Sarada. 

Afterwards, his memories became clearer. He remembered looking back to Sarada and Boruto, who slowly dared to peek out at him in between their fingers.   
“What happened?“ Boruto mouthed and Mitsuki was proud to have understood it.   
Slowly, he was getting used to their mannerisms. 

Mitsuki walked back towards Boruto, so he wouldn’t have to yell the answer, and immediately two scared orphans, who hadn’t been able to hold on to either Sarada or Boruto, because there was no space left, clung onto him. Mitsuki smiled at them.   
“Hurry inside now.“, he told them, quietly. They didn’t need to hear the explanation he was about to give Boruto.

Mitsuki looked up when he felt Kabuto’s presence. He was right, Kabuto was indeed rushing towards them. He had probably heard the sounds of the fight and was worried. 

“The children should be fine, I made sure they were covering their eyes at least to keep psychological trauma to a minimum. I apologise for the inconvenience.“, Mitsuki said with a smile, hoping to at least help with Kabuto’s obvious distress. 

Sarada and Boruto quickly explained that Mitsuki had helped them with attackers unkown to them, but neither Mitsuki’s nor his teammates words seemed to help at all.   
Kabuto just stared at him for a second, almost blankly. Mitsuki wondered what he was seeing. That feeling he always seemed to have, that Kabuto was not looking at him as much as he was looking at a spot in the distance behind him, was gone, all of a sudden. 

The rest of the day wasn’t very interesting, though. They had to wait inside until Boruto’s father came to assess the situation and occasionally Mitsuki was asked about details. He tried to fill everyone in as best as he could without talking about using Sage Mode. He was pretty sure he had managed quite well. His parent should be fine with this, should they find out. 

The upside to the whole situation was clear the next times they visited the orphanage. Thankfully the Hokage had decided that they were still allowed to continue their mission, and now, Mitsuki finally had time to talk to Kabuto, who suddenly seemed interested in him as well. 

The first day they were back at the orphanage, Mitsuki kneeled down next to Kabuto, who was watching them from a closer spot than usual.  
“Kabuto-san,“, he began hopefully, “could I ask you a question?“   
Kabuto gave him a look that Mitsuki couldn’t place at all.   
“Of course.“   
“Do you think you could show me how to use the Shousen Jutsu? I saw you using it earlier and if you’re fine with it, I would like to try it as well.“   
Kabuto was silent for a long while after this. Mitsuki expected him to decline, because it usually took people longer to find words to say ‘no’ in a sufficiently polite way than it did them to just say ‘yes‘.

“Yes.“, Kabuto said, and Mitsuki rewrote his mental script of conversations once again.   
Or was this one of the exceptions that just proved the usual rule?   
This was frustrating.  
Kabuto seemed to think so as well, because his face looked incredibly concentrated. A small crease had formed between his brows, like he was trying to understand Mitsuki as much as Mitsuki was trying to understand him. 

“Thank you, Kabuto-san.“, Mitsuki said and Kabuto flinched a little.   
He did not understand what was happening, not even one bit. 

But one thing led to another and somehow, they were now practising Shousen Jutsu.  
Mitsuki had watched Kabuto carefully, but what he saw didn’t translate very well to what his hands did (or what they were supposed to do).  
He took a deep breath and tried to focus his chakra in the way Kabuto had told him to.   
Kabuto looked at him expectantly.   
Mitsuki let his fingers hover over the twig that Kabuto had placed in front of him.  
How was he supposed to make flowers bloom just by swiping some chakra across?  
The flower bloomed. 

„It worked.“, Mitsuki said, slightly surprised. 

Kabuto smiled at him.   
“It did.“, he agreed with a nod.

“You mentioned not having any experience with the healing arts, right?“, Kabuto inquired after a few more seconds of silence while Mitsuki just stared at the small flower under his fingertips. 

“I do not. I have had only combat experience, though I’ve seen both Karin and Suigetsu use some form of healing jutsu, it’s nothing like yours though, I think.“, Mitsuki said, hoping that Kabuto still remembered the two.   
He very clearly did, Mitsuki could tell from the surprised look on his face.

“Ah, yes. Karin’s jutsu isn’t quite Shousen, is it now.“ There seemed to be something else Kabuto wanted to say, but he did not say anything after that for quite some time, he just instructed Mitsuki to try and get the flower to open further. 


	13. Woke up Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning: OOC-Ootsutsukis, probably. I watched that ootsutsuki stuff ages ago while painting my nails. I have no idea what they can and can't do. I'm not watching it again, they're just there because I needed a fight in this chapter. If you really liked them -- consider not reading this chapter lmao

Kabuto had been fairly certain that agreeing to teaching Mitsuki had been signing a contract of his own demise. What else could it be, if not some thinly veiled trap? Still, he had heard himself agree, had watched himself go through all the motions.  
Mitsuki was a fast learner and Kabuto had found himself in a position where getting up in the morning was easy again. More than that, it was something he looked forward to. On days where team 7 wasn’t there, he worked overtime to get all things out of the way so that he could work with Mitsuki when team 7 was there.

He found that it did not matter to him if this was a trap. He was unsure what Orochimaru wanted from him, at this point, anyway. If this was going to end in his death, some sort of belated revenge, he was fine with it. Something was up and one way or the other he was going to find out what it was. If those were his final moments, at least they would be fun. Doing this for another ten years was one of his worst fears and dying of old age in an orphanage made it to the top three just as easily.  
He was still debating what to ask Mitsuki to find out anything at all about him, his father, Otogakure — but the child was an enigma. Kabuto himself had been called elusive on multiple occasions, by people close to him as well as by complete strangers, but Mitsuki was something else. Sometimes his answers were so evasive that Kabuto completely forgot about the question he had asked until hours later. It was frustrating as much as it was fascinating. Kabuto hadn’t been thrilled by anything in so long, hadn’t had to solve anything in so long, that he had almost forgotten the taste of testing. 

Mitsuki was so careful about everything, but had no concept of personal space at all. He had to keep himself from flinching on multiple occasions, especially when Mitsuki would grab his hand out of nowhere to hold it over his own while trying to master the Shousen Jutsu. 

“Where should I focus the chakra? Show me exactly.“ 

It was almost funny how polite, quiet Mitsuki could be so demanding when trying to find out about things. Both this and the complete lack of distance he kept was clearly a habit picked up from Orochimaru, and while Kabuto knew he should find it annoying as he would have with every other child, he almost found it endearing. Maybe it was just because he was fond of Orochimaru. Though he shouldn’t be, really. 

He was pulled from his thoughts when Mitsuki, once again, touched his shoulder.  
“Someone's coming.“ 

Kabuto raised a brow. He assumed that if Mitsuki knew more, he would have told him this time, so he decided against asking for a more in-depth description.  
“Where from? Do you know how many there are?“  
He watched Mitsuki squint into the distance, as if squinting helped heightening sensor type abilities like it helped with temporarily adjusting your vision, and then rub his temples in frustration.

“Three or four, maybe. It doesn't feel right.“  
Kabuto could tell from Mitsuki’s expression that he was used to being able to pinpoint an exact number of people. He frowned, his eyes following Mitsuki’s gaze into the distance. There was nobody to be seen yet but he was sure this meant trouble.

He went over to Boruto and Sarada.  
“Get the kids inside.“ 

They stared at him, visibly confused, but got up and listened to him. Kabuto was still quite impressed with them. Apparently they weren’t very much like their parents. 

After following the little herd of kids with his eyes for a couple of seconds, he turned back to face the forest in the distance. Now he could feel what Mitsuki had struggled to describe. Distorted chakra, not very human in nature. It was almost closer to tailed beast chakra than it was to human chakra.

Kabuto felt a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth, surprising like a butterfly landing on his face. So he was still aching for a fight? He couldn't put his finger on what exactly he was aching for, but this was part of it.

Time seemed to pass strangely for a while - one moment Kabuto could see people on the horizon, just shapes peeking out between the trees, the next he could see white hair, peculiar clothing, then they seemed to vanish, reappear, flicker.  
Now Kabuto was the one squinting into the distance.  
Mitsuki stepped closer to his side.  
"I don't think we can win if they are going to fight us," the kid stated so plainly that Kabuto almost laughed out loud. "We should consider running."  
Oh, how people underestimated him still. 

One of the people sauntered within earshot, moving with the grace of a feline - or maybe an ancient god. He looked entirely too much like a late member of the sound five, from the clan markings on his forehead to his hair, skin, everything apart from his eyes reminded him of someone he had been rather happy to forget about.

"So, I heard Uzumaki Boruto was here."  
Kabuto hated him with a passion already -- and it wasn't just because he was the spitting image of Kimimaro.

"Who?" he adjusted his glasses with a decidedly smug smile. There was no use truly pretending. 

The person in front of him just smiled. Kabuto, taking mental note of the Byakugan, made sure not to get too close. He hated chakra points being targeted, it was one of the styles of fighting he despised the most if it was used on him.  
Besides the Byakugan, everything on the other person was white. He had long, white hair, pale skin, a white karinigu on top of a white, modified hakama. He also had a transparent veil that reminded Kabuto of the more modern brides he'd seen in town. Not entirely practical but he'd seen worse, both on the sound five and otherwise. 

"You know what, let's play a little, you and me.", he said, while stepping a little closer. Kabuto briefly wondered if geta were truly the right shoes for fighting, but he'd wondered the same thing about Jiraiya and he had seemed to get on quite well. Despite being drugged, if Kabuto recalled correctly. 

He would have usually tried to end this quickly with some sort of Genjutsu, but seeing as the enemy seemed to all possess the Byakugan that would be a waste of chakra at best. Close-range wasn't a good choice either for the very same reason. Mid- or long range then. Kabuto frowned. Not his preferred style of fighting, but what could you do. 

"Come on then. Hell, either one of you. Honestly, I'm so bored, I'll even fight the kid." 

That did it for Kabuto. He threw caution to the wind and stepped in front of Mitsuki, readying his chakra scalpel. Maybe Taijutsu would do if he was being careful.  
"I don't think you'll have to."

"Oh?"  
The way he talked to him, like he was barely older than Mitsuki truly rubbed him the wrong way. Kabuto wasn't usually prone to being taunted but he had been itching for a fight anyway and it had been years since he'd cut anything other than food. 

Within a second, Kabuto was behind him, chakra scalpel flickering unsteadily like it too, was excited.  
"Your flank is open.", he said dryly and cut through a tendon on the Kaguya's thigh with enough ease to stun him for a second. 

He didn't reply, but jumped backwards to get away and assess the damage, teeth bared.  
That was a better look for him, Kabuto found. 

Meanwhile, Mitsuki, who had been watching the two of them silently, formed three hand signs in rapid succession.

"Fuuton--", he began, dry enough that Kabuto wouldn't have been able to tell that he had suggested running away just seconds earlier, "Toppa."

The sharp gust of air pushed the Kaguya away another ten meters and Mitsuki used the time to get closer to Kabuto. 

He couldn't help but feel somewhat nostalgic. That had been one of Orochimaru's old favourites, the wind release.  
But the way Mitsuki looked up at him, waiting for instruction, was so unlike Orochimaru that the feeling didn't linger. 

"Stay behind for now." Kabuto muttered, taking a step in front of Mitsuki.

"Yes, sir." 

Kabuto could get used to this, but for now, his attention was on the Kaguya, who said something that Kabuto couldn't hear. His friends did, though. They stepped back into the shadows of the trees. Then he turned back to Kabuto, a soft smile on his lips now. He rubbed at the, undoubtedly painful cut on his thigh.

The next time he got close enough to potentially cut through another tendon on the Kaguya's body, he was pushed back by something Kabuto didn't exactly see coming until it hit him.  
So maybe he was right about the close-range after all. Even though it didn't seem to be the other's strong suit.  
Interesting. 

Maybe it wasn't the Byakugan then?  
Deciding that a Genjutsu could be worth a try, he formed the tiger sign.

But he had been right about that, as the Kaguya giggled. "Excuse me?", he stretched his arms overhead, seemingly bored, "I don't think so. That might work on the kids, but are you for real right now?"

Kabuto could have guessed. He took a deep breath.  
Analysing the situation calmly would be more helpful than falling for pathetic taunts.  
Poise, Kabuto. 

Clearly, he had the upper hand in close-range. Even mere seconds had been enough to prove that to Kabuto. So he'd have to go back to that one way or the other, making sure not to get pushed back again, by whatever that other jutsu had been. 

Roughly ten seconds had passed since the Kaguya had used it for the last time. Kabuto wondered if he needed time to ready it again. 

He bit his thumb, while looking for a somewhat even spot on the ground.  
Orochimaru had been right about the damned summoning tattoos, he’d thought so on multiple occasions during the war and he did so now.  
"Kuchiyose!"

Multiple snakes of all sizes appeared in a smoky haze.

"You", Kabuto began, gesturing to the largest snake, "stay with Mitsuki."

"Everyone else, hold him down." He pointed towards the Kaguya. 

"An Ootsutsuki?", one whispered. "Are you for real, Kabuto-kun?" 

So maybe he hadn't been right about the clan name. Ootsutsuki was slightly more concerning than Kaguya had been, Kabuto agreed internally. 

Unfortunately for everyone, Boruto and Sarada ran back onto the battlefield that moment.  
"What's going on?", Boruto yelled, sounding exactly like his father. 

Within less than a second, one of the people, still hidden between the trees, threw some sort of spear that pierced clean through Boruto's shoulder, knocking him unconscious. 

Clearly this wasn't going to be a one-on-one fight.  
Mitsuki seemed to have realised as well, or maybe he had just forgotten about Kabuto's command, because he appeared at Boruto's side in a flash of lightning, catching him before he even touched the ground. 

"Get away!" Kabuto hissed at Sarada, who seemed to consider also rushing to her team's aid. 

The Ootsutsuki that had been fighting them stepped a little closer towards the unconscious Boruto in Mitsuki's arms.  
Kabuto saw Mitsuki's finger's shaking and was a little taken aback. He'd heard him speak about Boruto with admiration, but this seemed a little much. Kabuto decided that it did not really matter and used the moment to his advantage by getting behind the Ootsutsuki again, aiming for his neck this time. 

He turned around, a little surprised, and managed to evade the blow -- but just barely.  
"I don't have blind spots." he stated, as if to himself.  
Clearly not having blind spots didn't help much.  
They exchanged a series of quick jabs but neither of them really got through to the other. A futile hit towards the Kaguya's ribs, a swift return of the same hit, blocked by Kabuto.  
It was useless, they were on par.

Kabuto jumped back to get a little distance between them before starting his next attack when a glimmer in the distance caught his eye. It was the air around Mitsuki flickering in a cool, green light. 

Sage mode?  
Kabuto's heart skipped a beat.

As if his heart rate hadn't been irregular enough, Orochimaru appeared by Mitsuki's side as if he'd been there this entire time. Had he been watching Mitsuki? Had he been watching Kabuto? The both of them? Something different entirely? 

Kabuto figured that this was just his life now. The slightly better times were marked by cardiac arrhythmia and the worse times were incredibly boring.  
"Mitsuki, don't." Orochimaru placed a hand on his back soothingly.

Mitsuki, rather surprisingly, given his current state, listened and the green flickering ebbed away to a dim glow around his shaking shoulders. He seemed like he was about to break down crying.

"Boruto is fine, he just needs rest. Get him over to where your other teammate is." Orochimaru said, voice so soft that Kabuto almost didn't recognise it.

"Now then." Orochimaru looked up to where the Ootsutsuki was still standing, somewhat surprised. 

The very snakes that had just criticised Kabuto for trying to fight an Ootsutsuki Clan member suddenly seemed ready to strike any second. 

Kabuto threw a look back towards Mitsuki, who was carrying Boruto to where Sarada was, and again, his heart threatened to skip a beat. Urushi, pale and equally as shaky as Mitsuki, had run out and stood in front of team seven. As if he would be of any help at all, Kabuto thought bitterly. He'd briefly seen him in the war, being a nuisance rather than helping anyone, really. But right now, he was just worried for him. 

He didn't get a lot of time to keep watching Urushi, because the noise to his other side reminded him what was actually going on right now. Orochimaru had apparently not wasted any time attacking the Ootsutsukis, all at once as well, Kabuto noticed. Multiple more snakes had emerged straight from the ground closer by the forest.  
Pulling out a scalpel he had just sharpened that morning, Kabuto took a quick breath in. The scales had tipped. He had no idea how strong exactly the enemy was, but they definitely stood a chance. 

The one Ootsutsuki that was so bad at Taijutsu raised a hand, palm facing Orochimaru, who had launched a Ninjutsu at him that Kabuto hadn't seen before. The earth style Ninjutsu had consisted of fairly large rocks that had been plucked from the ground by a flick of Orochimaru's wrist. They launched themselves at the Ootsutsuki and --  
disappeared under his fingertips.  
Kabuto squinted.  
What had happened?  
Some kind of absorption technique, akin to what Yoroi had been using?  
Not for the first time in his life, Kabuto desperately wished for the Sharingan as to help him understand what just happened.  
Maybe it had been closer to Orochimaru's own style of chakra absorption technique.  
Kabuto pushed up his glasses and it actually did something for once.  
What Kabuto hadn’t seen before was that the enemy had the Rin'negan. Right on the palm of his hand.  
Kabuto's breathing hitched. Maybe they didn't really stand a chance, then.  
At least not if they were fighting on their own. They needed backup, and fast.  
He turned back to Urushi, who caught his gaze.  
He seemed to have wordlessly understood Kabuto, because he gave him a brief nod, grabbed team seven, and ran back inside, hopefully to send a message to the Hokage.  
If Kabuto remembered correctly, Sasuke had been in town earlier this week again, so if they were in luck, that would still be the case. 

Looking back, he saw Orochimaru getting closer to the Ootsutsuki, probably thinking exactly what Kabuto had been thinking earlier. Kabuto wasn't in a place to criticise his former master's Taijutsu skills right now, but he couldn't help but think that he should have considered leaving this one to him and attacking one of the others.  
It would have to do for now, there was no time to talk through an elaborate plan.  
How Kabuto hated having to think on his feet. It left room for mistakes.  
And they couldn't afford those. 

He ran towards the other Ootsutsukis who had slowly inched closer, watching the fight, visibly wondering if it was okay to step in. Kabuto stuck to his plan of not sticking to a plan and attacked the first one he could get to. Confusing them surely was an option as well.  
It worked surprisingly well. Surprisingly well enough to the point of Kabuto occasionally risking a glance back to see if some backup had already arrived.  
The only thing he saw was Orochimaru and the Ootsutsuki appearing and disappearing on the battlefield like they, too, were using sage mode.  
He was quite impressed, but couldn't really take any more time to watch them fight, considering he was dodging blows left and right himself. 

A searing pain snapped his attention back to what he was doing.  
He stared at his thigh in disbelief.  
A smaller version of the spear-like weapon that had hit Boruto earlier. This would have been funny if it hadn't been so sad. 

Kabuto pulled it out instinctively but already knew it was too late. The time he had left was barely enough to brace himself before he hit the ground.  
So it hadn't been poisoned at all, he thought hazily, while turning his head to at least see what would kill him.  
This was a chakra absorbing blade, too.  
He felt cold. 

Kabuto never saw who exactly had thrown the blade because a rare sight, albeit oddly familiar, had appeared in front of him.  
A modified version of the Rashomon temple gate he'd seen so many times before. He was surprised that Orochimaru would take the time to summon one just for him, but not surprised enough to keep him awake. 

His eyes fell shut and his last thought was that the grass felt way too cold in the summer sun. 

Kabuto hadn’t exactly expected to wake up again at all, but he did.  
Everything hurt.  
He looked up to see that the fight was still going on and, maybe he hadn’t actually been out for very long, backup still hadn’t arrived.  
It smelled like fire. Kabuto lifted his head slightly, holding his breath because it felt like his spine might just pop out of his neck, and let his gaze wander around the area.  
Urushi was kneeled at his side, eyes fixed on the fight in the distance. He hadn’t even noticed Kabuto stirring.  
Behind him, a side building of the orphanage had caught fire, but nobody seemed to care.  
They were so close to the flames, Kabuto could see the air around Urushi flicker with the heat.  
Right, Kabuto thought.  
It should have been blazing hot where he was.  
He looked down to assess the damage. Urushi was absent-mindedly pressing a piece of cloth that was already soaked with blood, to his leg. He couldn’t even feel it. Not the pressure, not anything. Just an eerie cold.  
How much blood had he lost? 

He pushed Urushi’s hand away emphatically and tried to stop the bleeding. He had so little chakra left, it felt like digging for water on a typical Suna summer day. Only that he was freezing. 

Urushi, who had finally noticed that Kabuto was up, placed his hands over his. 

“Thank god, you’re alright! Try to use my chakra!” Urushi’s voice kind of sounded like he had expected Kabuto to die. He would have been frustrated, but he was simply too cold and tired to be. 

Still, the chakra did help, the wound closed up rather quickly, even though it hadn’t been Kabuto’s best work.

Obviously, it also didn’t give him back any of the blood he had lost -- but Kabuto felt like he almost kind of deserved that for stupidly pulling out a blade from his thigh only to faint before even closing the wound. That was just asking for bleeding out. He of all people should have known better. 

Ignoring the pain that radiated from his head all the way to his lower back, Kabuto looked back towards the fight. 

Clearly he wasn’t the only one who had lost a lot of blood. The entire grass was dyed a brownish red, a few bodies lay between the pond and the orphanage, scattered like discarded dolls.  
It was somewhat reminiscent of a few weeks ago, when Mitsuki had killed-- Kabuto didn’t even really remember what had happened.

What Kabuto did remember was that what was unfolding before him wasn’t what he had been used to seeing in all the time he’d known his former master.

Truly, Kabuto had seen so many sides of Orochimaru.  
He had seen him depressed, he’d seen him manic.  
He had seen him close to his breaking point after the fateful fight against the Third, the loss of his arms not weighing him down as much as the blow on his pride. 

This right now, this was not a side of Orochimaru he knew.  
In fact, he had been certain that there was no such side to Orochimaru at all.

He was completely unhinged, a gaping cut on his cheek bleeding into his mouth which was slightly opened to a snarl.  
His hair tie had come off and his now matted hair stuck to the splatters of blood across his face and shoulders. 

Kabuto was torn between the sudden realisation that he now understood why people were afraid of Orochimaru and the odd feeling that he was having some kind of transcendental religious experience that he wished not to further discuss, even with himself.  
He attributed it to the blood loss, mostly.


	14. The Last Shred of Truth

The leftover Ootsutsuki's had been gathering around in a little circle, whispering. How heartwarming. Apparently they had noticed that backup was on his way, by now even Orochimaru could feel the ninetails chakra approaching. 

He looked down at a single, lonely Ootsutsuki lying by his feet, abandoned by his siblings and paralysed with the cursed seal he'd received earlier during an attempt to stab him with one of those chakra-absorbing weapons of him.   
A broken whimper escaped his lips, even though the rest of his body remained still.  
  
Orochimaru stepped on his throat, rather disgusted with the somewhat wet, somewhat crunchy sound. He had enjoyed leaving things like breaking necks to Suigetsu."Anyone else?", he hissed, not looking at anyone in particular. 

Some of the Ootsutsukis vanished back into the shadows but the one that had been fighting Kabuto earlier just threw an annoyed glance at Orochimaru.   
Orochimaru caught and returned his gaze. 

He didn't have quite as much chakra left as he would have liked, most of these enemies had been surprisingly strong. He couldn't be sure where the others went, either.   
For all he knew, they could just be hiding for the moment. 

Orochimaru was afraid this was the one Ootsutsuki he wasn't exactly keen on fighting again. Ninjutsu didn't work on him, he could absorb those with the Rin'negan and he seemed to have almost unlimited chakra reserves.   
In fact, Orochimaru assumed the Rin'negan could actually use the chakra it absorbed, so any more attacks would probably strengthen the enemy further. 

With a sigh, Orochimaru opened his mouth slowly and pulled the Kusanagi out from it.   
"That's fucking gross," commented the Ootsutsuki that had _hovered_ closer towards him. 

"My, my! Language." Orochimaru replied after clearing his throat, happy to kill some time until Uzumaki Naruto arrived.   
Surely this was enough of helping the Hidden Leaf for one day. Though he would have to explain why he had been there in the first place.   
For now, however, that could wait. 

The Kusanagi was one of Orochimaru's all time favourite weapons.   
The blade was light but sturdy, it wove itself through the air like it was slicing it in pieces, he didn't even have to do much.   
Part of him always felt like the Kusanagi was wielding him. 

The Ootsutsuki seemed to truly hate anything that was close-range, he mostly blocked and dodged, getting more and more agitated by the second. Apparently Ninjutsu was difficult for him while he was trying to dodge.   
That was great news, Orochimaru could work with that. 

And he did, for quite a while. They were almost dancing, pushing each other back and forth on the battlefield, avoiding each attack as well as the last. What ended up disturbing their choreography was Uzumaki Naruto, who, as usual, appeared with a bang. 

Orochimaru backed off as a giant Rasengan flew past him, the sheer amount of chakra making him a little dizzy.   
That kid truly was something else.   
The Ootsutsuki had not cared as much as Orochimaru had, he simply pushed the Rasengan back, and Orochimaru was lucky he'd gotten out of the way earlier, because that would absolutely have hit him. 

He followed it with his eyes for a second, backing off a little further as it slammed into the already burning side building of the orphanage.   
With a quick glance over at Kabuto and his friend (that Orochimaru couldn't ever remember the name of) he summoned another Rashomon temple gate.   
These idiots were too close and neither of them seemed ready to run.

Orochimaru should have considered moving out of the way entirely, because pieces of wood, stone fragments (and whatever else had been in the general proximity of the Rasengan's impact) flew everywhere. Way too many to truly dodge every single one.   
Luckily, Orochimaru thought, the temple gate seemed to have done the trick when it came to protecting the--

He barely managed to evade a rather big piece of stone, only to get pushed backwards a few more stumbling steps when some sort of wooden peg hit him somewhere in the chest. 

Orochimaru let his fingers explore what had hit him, making sure not to look down just yet. That, he had learned very early in his life, was always a bad decision. He had seen to many experienced shinobi faint and then die over something minor. 

It was indeed a piece of wood and it was lodged rather firmly in between his ribs.   
He held up his fingers and inspected them.   
They were smeared with blood, a stark contrast to his skin, that he'd usually would have appreciated, but right now it just made him feel lightheaded.   
For now at least the blood loss didn't seem to be too dramatic. 

_Still_ , Orochimaru thought. _Time to get to the sidelines for now._  
He coughed. 

Getting in enough oxygen proved to be quite the problem, once again.   
He let his eyes wander over the people who were cowering in front of the, still mostly intact, main building of the orphanage.   
Kabuto and his friend were still pressed up against the Rashomon. They seemed fine.

Orochimaru flinched at an intense crackling sound behind him, as Sasuke (or had it been the Ootsutsuki?) opened some sort of chakra based gate.

Both Naruto, Sasuke, as well as a few Kage that had somehow accompanied them, disappeared into the portal, chasing the Ootsutsuki into another dimension.   
He could not care less about space-time ninjutsu right now, he was just glad everyone was gone. 

His vision blurred at the edges.   
Orochimaru clicked his tongue in annoyance and cursed having a mortal body once more. 

He stumbled over to where his Rashomon gate door had been mere seconds ago.   
Clearly his chakra was running out fast. 

"Excuse me," he rasped as he let himself fall onto the ground next to Kabuto, "I know, technically you don't work for me anymore, but _fix this_."   
Orochimaru was very glad his voice was, apart from sounding slightly more breathy than usual, still commanding enough to not make this any more awkward than it was. 

Kabuto looked at him directly, for the first time in ages, mouth slightly agape in utter disbelief. Clearly, he was at a complete loss for words. 

" **Now** , Kabuto," Orochimaru added emphatically.

"R-right, of course, Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto finally managed, sounding very much like his former self. So that was an interesting start, Orochimaru found.

As much as Orochimaru hadn't missed not being able to breathe properly, the feeling of Kabuto's, somehow very specific, Shousen Jutsu he had missed very dearly.   
Everything about it, in fact.   
From the cooling feeling on his skin to the feeling of Kabuto's hands on him.

"Why--" Kabuto started, but stopped speaking for another minute or so.   
Orochimaru indulged him, but maybe that was only because he wasn't sure how well speaking would work for him right now. 

"Why did you protect Urushi and me instead of yourself?" 

Orochimaru raised a brow.   
"I'm not quite as easy to kill as the two of you are. Also, isn't he your friend? He's right there, you're being rude." He immediately regretted speaking, though, as another coughing fit put him back in his place on the ground.

Kabuto's fingers were shaking, the flickering of the Shousen Jutsu gave him away.

"Get a hold of yourself, Kabuto. You'll need to pull that out in just a second and I wouldn't want you to--" 

"Why would you care about us?" Kabuto's voice was the one to crack first.

Orochimaru felt agitated at best.   
"Do you _honestly_ think this is a good time?" 

A single tear rolled down Kabuto's cheek.   
Orochimaru forgot how to breathe for just a second, and it wasn't because of his wound.

"After what happened?" Kabuto was close to screaming at him, his voice quivered like a bow's string. 

"Kabuto, dear." Orochimaru said, narrowing his eyes. "Pull yourself together." 

Kabuto did no such thing.   
The first tear clearly had just been a splash of water before the dam broke.   
A quiet whimper escaped him, before he rubbed his eyes at his shoulder without lifting his fingers off Orochimaru's chest. 

Orochimaru watched the very sudden display of emotion with apprehension at first.   
He'd been waiting for Kabuto to show something akin to this for years, but now that he got what he had wanted, he felt that he didn't want it at all. 

Quietly, he reached a blood stained hand upwards and pushed a strand of hair behind Kabuto's ear. A tear hit his cheek and something inside him twisted into a knot.

"It's fine," Orochimaru said, a little softer now. "I'm not going to die. You've got this. You can criticise me for being reckless in just a bit." 

This had the opposite effect of what Orochimaru had hoped for. If anything, Kabuto was crying even harder now, violent sobs shaking his entire body like a leaf in the wind. 

Urushi, who had been kneeling behind Kabuto, wide-eyed and unmoving, finally seemed to find his way back into reality.   
He moved a little closer to Kabuto, and put a hand on his back. 

"Shh," he began, quietly, "You're almost out of chakra and I am too. You're going to faint again if you keep this up." 

Urushi's advice, however well meant, fell on deaf ears.   
In fact, it only seemed to only escalate things further. 

"I know!" Kabuto yelled, and both Orochimaru and Urushi flinched.   
Orochimaru had not ever heard Kabuto even raising his voice before.

Kabuto took a shaky breath between two more strangled sobs.   
"Fuck! I **know**! Call someone else, damn it!" 

Urushi, pulling back his hand like a wasp had stung him, nodded quickly.   
"Yes. Wait here." 

Kabuto was just about to wipe his eyes at his shoulder again, when Orochimaru cupped his cheek in his hand. Kabuto's eyebrows knit together to what was the most pained expression Orochimaru had seen on him yet. 

"Just calm down," he told him, while wiping a few tears from Kabuto's cheek, deeply satisfied with the audible hitch in his breathing that he got in response, even in this situation.

"Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto managed between clenched teeth, clearly trying to keep himself from sobbing, "I am so sorry." 

Orochimaru scoffed. "Kabuto, you know it is quite unsettling when your medic starts panicking, aren't you supposed to tell me it's going to be alright?"

He actually looked at him for a second, and the sobs seemed to get a little quieter. 

"But I don't know if I can do this," he whispered, and the pained, truthful tone of voice gave Orochimaru another little stab in the chest. 

"And you won't have to," another, much stronger voice declared.   
Tsunade, who had been dragged over by Mitsuki, kneeled down next to Orochimaru.  
"You look like shit," she announced. 

"It's nice to see you too." 

Mitsuki skittered to a stop next to his parent and dropped down to his knees, tears welling up in his eyes. He didn't say anything, but Orochimaru was still quite surprised with the impact it had on him. 

Tsunade pushed Kabuto aside, but he just moved over to Orochimaru's free side.   
"I'm not going anywhere." 

"I don't give a shit where you go, Kabuto," she announced and placed her hands on Orochimaru's chest. "Hold your breath for a second," she told him -- and without missing a beat, pulled the piece of wood out. 

Orochimaru grit his teeth, but the impact was somewhat lessened by Kabuto, who had grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers, and Mitsuki, who had placed a shaky hand on his shoulder.

"You can resume breathing, by the way." Tsunade added after a few, long seconds, winking at Orochimaru when he just hissed in response. 

"Is... is my parent going to be okay?" Mitsuki's voice was barely more than a whisper, and Orochimaru could feel a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Sure." Tsunade said dryly and Orochimaru could hear that she had trouble holding back a snarky comment. 

Besides them, Kabuto's body hit the ground with a quiet _thump_.  
Orochimaru turned his head to look at him and then settled for watching his chest rise and fall with his breath for a while. 

"Someone was a little stressed out." Tsunade commented.

"Hm," Orochimaru agreed quietly, without taking his eyes off the unconscious medic next to him. 


	15. In the Long Lost Myth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the, uh, two-months-hiatus, ya girl got her university degree / took her state examination and passed, ayyy, also; full score in psychology???  
> i'm proud but also sorry for the wait. take this humble offering of a new kabuto chapter.

When Kabuto woke up he didn't open his eyes immediately. It was something he had trained himself to do to spy on people but sometimes the old habit still proved to be useful. Like right now. 

He had no idea where he was, the smell certainly wasn't an index to his room. It smelled like smoke. Or was it that charred wood perfume? He hadn't exactly been able to forget about that. 

Something touched his forehead and he just barely managed to stop himself from flinching. It was cool fingertips that pushed a strand of hair behind his ear.   
Kabuto thought about that for a few seconds. A strand of hair behind his ear.   
Something rang a bell. 

His memory of what had happened came rushing back to him in jumbled bits and pieces.   
Orochimaru, the fight, the spear in his leg, Mitsuki, Boruto, some space-time jutsu. Now, with the additional knowledge and the ever-present tension headache pounding against his temples he felt almost like himself again, at least, as much as that could be the case for him. 

He was very tempted to open his eyes, but remained still for another couple of minutes. Nothing much happened, Orochimaru let his fingers run through his hair once more -- and Kabuto, again, had to try his hardest to remain still. Embarrassingly enough, it was almost harder now than it had been when he didn't know what was touching him. 

"What is it?", Orochimaru's voice, almost a hiss and very unlike his gentle touches, cut through the silence. 

"Nothing!" came a sheepish reply, then some feet shuffled away hectically. 

So apparently they were being watched. But definitely inside the main building of the orphanage, according to the acoustics. The room had to be one of the entrance rooms. Maybe the large tatami room.  
Kabuto couldn't stand it anymore.  
He opened his eyes and looked up at Orochimaru, who turned back towards him, his expression turning from annoyed to pleased in a split second. 

Kabuto quickly averted his eyes to reassemble his thoughts and used the time to take a quick look around.They were indeed in the main building, a few beds and futons had been put up around the sides, apparently nobody was seriously hurt. There were a few kids bouncing up and down on a futon on the other side of the room.

„My, my, look who is up."  
Kabuto raised a brow at that. So, what now?   
Was Orochimaru seriously pretending that a decade of their lives hadn't happened? 

"Don't give me that look. I couldn't just leave after that -- if I dare say, rather dramatic display of emotion. I figured you'd probably want to talk about it."   
The sweet undertone of Orochimaru's voice made Kabuto want to vomit -- but it also made his heart feel weirdly light at the same time. 

"That's a lie." Kabuto said and his voice certainly sounded like he had just woken up. In fact, it could have been his best Orochimaru-impression. 

A smile tugged at the corners of Orochimaru's mouth.  
"Ah, true. But I do believe I would like to talk about it." 

"I don't have to do things because you want them to happen, Orochimaru-sama.“ Kabuto said before he could think. Was that Urushi speaking through him? And he thought all these talks had gone in through one ear and out through the other. Clearly they had not. Quite impressive, Kabuto found. 

To his surprise, Orochimaru gave him a courteous nod.   
"Again, very true.", he stood up, "Well, I'm glad to see you seem to not have taken substantial damage either way." Orochimaru straightened his kimono, which did absolutely nothing for the garment since it was still covered in now dried blood. 

"I'll be taking my leave in just a few minutes. Before that though--" he caught Kabuto's gaze once again and held eye contact, which, much to Kabuto's anger, had just the effect Orochimaru had probably hoped it would have, "I would like to thank you, Kabuto. It's very easy to trust you after all this time. Having people to count on, be it you or Tsunade, is very reassuring. Especially in times like these -- where I'm usually locked up in my own lab, bored out of my mind. Good to know you're still out there. I hope you're staying safe and sane."   
He smiled at Kabuto, and Kabuto wasn't entirely sure if Orochimaru was mocking him for working at an orphanage, or actually thanking him. Probably both. 

"Uzumaki Naruto has given me some of Danzo’s old files to work on, since nobody seems to be able to decipher it.“ he made a quick gesture with his hand that Kabuto couldn’t quite place, „After the talk I'm afraid I will have to have with him, I might be allowed to request your assistance with that. If I am, would that be alright with you?“  
Kabuto stared at him wordlessly for a few seconds. 

"The things we do for Konoha, hm?", he managed, finally, very much unable to say anything else. He averted his eyes rather quickly, taking a sudden interest in the quilted bedding.   
It really wasn't an offer he could refuse, he was so interested in what was happening at Orochimaru's lab these days. With Mitsuki, as well. He was dying to get to know more about it.

"Precisely."  
Kabuto could just hear him grinning.  
“Orochimaru-sama,“ he began, a bit startled by his own voice and sudden input, “can I ask you something?“ 

Orochimaru gave a thoughtful hum. “I assume you could.“ 

“What did the others in Otogakure mean to you?“ He looked back at Orochimaru, somewhat pleased with a split second of confusion that his face gave away. 

“Where’s this coming from?“ Orochimaru asked, tilting his head.

“Will you just answer my question? Specifically the sound five, Kimimaro, you know exactly what I’m asking.“ 

“I was interested in them. Some could have been vessels, none of them worked out as planned.“   
Clearly, Orochimaru had his face under control again, seeing as his expression was completely blank, almost bored. 

“Why did you let them get so close?“

“Sometimes, there’s no other way. There’s exactly two ways in which you can get people to do what you want, by love or fear. Sometimes the first works, sometimes the latter does. Where is this line of questions headed, dear Kabuto?“

“Love is a strong word.“

“So it is.“ Orochimaru sank back down onto the chair, apparently sensing that he wasn’t going to leave so soon after all. 

“You sweet-talked Kimimaro to get things to run more smoothly?“

“Excuse me?“ Orochimaru seemed offended. Kabuto was close to laughing out loud at that.  
"Do you perhaps think that question might be a little out of line?"

"Out of line for what, Orochimaru-sama. I do not currently work for you. This is something I've been meaning to ask. Now I'm asking and I'd prefer you to answer; did you bed Kimimaro? The others?" 

There was a miniscule twitch at the corner of Orochimaru's mouth, but Kabuto caught it. He had rarely felt so pleased with himself, despite his heart hammering against his chest. He should have done this way sooner. 

"No, Kabuto." Orochimaru said, slowly, in a tone Kabuto couldn't exactly place. He sounded angry, but there was more to it, surely. "I did not."   
He took a breath.  
"I am, however, going to cut this impromptu conversation a little short. You will get a chance to pry further, but this is hardly the place." 

True to his word, Orochimaru got up again, turned on his heels and left.   
Kabuto, however, stayed where he was, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, appreciating the few minutes he had left before other people would walk over and start checking up on him.   
He let the conversation replay in his mind countless times.   
Orochimaru hadn't. In fact, he'd seemed disgusted with the idea.   
Kabuto felt a little silly for asking, now. But there were still other, pressing questions, undoubtedly better to be asked over a cup of tea, though. Or maybe something a little stronger. He could go for a drink right about now.

But... should he have refused the offer to come with? He would love to work on some of Danzo’s files. Obviously that would mean staying with Orochimaru, even if just for short periods at a time. 

He couldn’t quite believe that Orochimaru truly believed that there was a chance Konoha would let them work on anything together, but to be fair, Konoha seemed to handle things with a laissez-faire approach. The individuals didn’t, but the city as a whole chose to put up an amnesic barrier between what had happened in the war and what was happening now. People were scared of Orochimaru and they certainly didn’t like Kabuto either, but the city as a whole chose to ignore what they did.   
Technically speaking, this could work. 

Kabuto did not know if he truly wanted it to work.  
Though it had certainly piqued his interest.


	16. A Different Kind of Danger in the Daylight

When Orochimaru entered the Hokage's office it truly felt like he had merely been invited over for tea. There was virtually no security anywhere and Naruto, who had been in the hospital until mere hours before, looked up from a enormous stack of papers, surprised.   
_Had he honestly forgotten about their appointment?_

"Greetings." Orochimaru scanned the room expecting to see Shikamaru -- but they were alone. Interesting choice.

"Hey," Naruto sighed, "Look, let's make this fairly brief."

Orochimaru nodded his head yes. "That would be in both of our best interests." 

"I know you weren't exactly supposed to be here, but let me be honest, I don't care. You were pretty obviously watching over Mitsuki and I don't think you did anything other than that. Here's where you just agree."

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow but bowed his head in silent agreement.   
"It would be unwise to try and harm Konoha. I apologise for disrespecting our agreement regarding my isolation but I had solid evidence pointing towards--" 

"Yes. Yes." 

Orochimaru closed his mouth ( _oh, how he hated being interrupted_ ) and watched Naruto rub at his temples. He gave up trying to make this a normal conversation seeing as the Hokage before him looked like he was about to stop listening to him altogether any second now.

"Nanadaime-sama -- before I leave you to it, could I possibly request some backup for the work on Danzo's files? I could solve some of the problems at a considerably faster pace if I had someone other than Suigetsu working through them with me. You know him." Idle conversation always seemed to work better on Naruto than virtually anything else.   
How on earth had the child not burned the city to the ground yet?

"You're asking me if you can have Kabuto as backup?"

"Yes." 

"I was advised against agreeing to this."

"I can only imagine, Nanadaime-sama." Orochimaru's gaze got caught on a pile of empty instant ramen cups that lay scattered behind the table. "Please be assured that we would only be working together under your supervision. You could personally see to the task, if you so wished. It shouldn't take too long. A few weeks if things are going smoothly."

"No, it's honestly fine. Just get it over with." 

Orochimaru would have laughed at this had it not been almost painful to watch.   
He truly did despise Konoha, but seeing it crumble like this still hurt. 'Pathetic' was really putting it lightly at this point. All Naruto was counting on seemed to be his (and maybe Sasuke's) physical prowess in order to protect the city, but everything else was truly unraveling at the seams. But Orochimaru wasn't about to complain. He would be there to watch the city unravel. He'd be there to eventually put it back together. 

"Thank you," he said, not letting his thoughts bleed into his voice, "Will this be all?"  
"Yes. Good talk." 

"Indeed. Brief as well." Oh, how Orochimaru couldn't help adding just a little snark. It would eventually cost him his tongue, but he'd made it this far. 

  
And so, things seemed settled for the time being.   
Orochimaru sent Suigetsu to bring Kabuto the news instead of going there himself. There had been enough coersion the first time around, so many years ago.   
Though the thought of letting go still irked him somehow, it promised a breath of fresh air as well. And if there was anything Orochimaru enjoyed it was change, so surely this would be interesting if nothing else. 

Also, there still was an apology he was going to get.   
And maybe, just maybe, there was one he was going to give in return. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kabuto had imagined the new hideout countless times. He had imagined it even darker and less practical, somehow. It had been a crammed, stuffy place in his dreams, all incensce and dust. Maybe that was because he had been a major reason why Orochimaru hadn't put up even more candles and other things to collect dust in their other hideouts.   
This, though, he wouldn't have recognised as Orochimaru's in the first place. 

_Sterile_ had always been an aspect of their hideouts but that only went as far as describing one or two rooms. The new hideout seemed more like a hospital, if anything. Bright lights, minimalist furniture, the omnipresent whirring of an entire array of computers that Kabuto had no idea how to even start up. They looked complicated and clearly he had a lot of catching up to do. He'd seen Suigetsu of all people working on one, and he'd be damned if it came down to Suigetsu explaining something to him. He'd just have to work hard to catch up.

Orochimaru, who had followed him around quietly rather than actively showing him around, watched him examine things from a distance. 

"Not as complicated as they look," he commented with a little chuckle. 

What, no condescending tone of voice? Kabuto threw him a look. Orochimaru's expression was neutral and Kabuto hadn't quite gotten used to that new body of his yet. The softer, feminine features did exactly as Orochimaru probably intended - they made everything he said seem almost friendly. Kabuto wasn't sure if he should let his guard down or if this was all the more reason to keep it up for a little longer.

"You aren't here to admire the laboratory, though, are you? I remember you having a lot of questions regarding the nature of our relationship -- and my relationships in general -- that you didn't get around to ask. Now is your time, Kabuto, and frankly, I'm not sure how long this offer will stand."

Kabuto smiled. That was more like him, now. He could work with that. Hell, he almost missed that. "I redecided, I'm afraid. I do have some questions, but mostly I have some rules I would like to propose if we are to work together again." 

Orochimaru returned the smile.   
Kabuto could just see in his eyes that he didn't think he was going to follow any rules, but there was only one way to find out. 

"Orochimaru-sama, I'm not entirely sure how to put this -- and to be perfectly honest, I went over this in my head countless times -- but do you think there is any possibility that we could work as equals, with my terms being an actual contract?"

Apparently that didn't vex Orochimaru nearly as much as Kabuto had thought. He looked like he was about to just shrug instead of answering.   
Heavens, Kabuto had made this a bigger deal than it was, hadn't he?

"You did always like to have things in black on white, did you not." Orochimaru said with a slight tilt of his head. "I do not exactly see what difference it makes, but yes, if it pleases you I can write you an official contract."   
"The difference it makes," Kabuto blurted out, "is that I can refuse things if I don't feel comfortable with them."   
A few seconds passed. He wasn't sure how to feel about his sudden outburst, and once again it truly seemed like Urushi had gotten to him just a little.  
What was this, his post-therapy self? 

"You could have refused orders either way, Kabuto. In fact, I am fairly certain you did, on occasion."   
Kabuto stared at Orochimaru.   
_Had he?_  
He faintly recalled feeling like making grave mistakes every time he criticised things in the Hidden Sound. Orochimaru had been right though, it hadn't exactly kept him from doing so. Sometimes, his memories, even newer ones, were hazy to the point of not actually knowing if something had actually happened or not. 

"No matter. I shall write you up precise terms and you shall be able to refer to them if you so wish. I'm certainly not going to keep you here by force." Orochimaru added with an especially soft tone of voice when Kabuto didn't reply. 

It didn't exactly feel right. Kabuto felt like now he was actually being treated like a test subject. Actually, now it did feel like Orochimaru was being condescending. 

"Orochimaru-sama, I am serious about this. Please don't make it seem like I'm asking for something ludicrous." 

"I am not. I, too, am being serious." Orochimaru sat down on an empty chair to Kabuto's left, looking a little defeated. "If you want anything specific, Kabuto, I would suggest you to actually be specific about it now and I shall try my very best to stay in line." 

Kabuto almost choked on his own spit. _Stay in line?_ Had Orochimaru just offered to listen to Kabuto's orders? Terms? Whatever they were going to call those. 

"I," he regretted starting to speak before planning what exactly to say immediately, "...I'm not sure I understand."

"I am fairly certain that you do understand. I am very willing to make an effort after our, falling out, let's say? I will eventually make you explain what exactly went through your mind when you decided to do what you did before that war, but that's very much for another day and another talk. For now, let's see what I can do for you. What bothered you last time, apart from Kimimaro, that is."

"Every other test subject." Kabuto stated plainly. 

"Oh?" Orochimaru let out a small but hearty giggle. "That's fair, but still a surprise to hear you say it."

"If you knew, why did you tease me with it?" 

"I didn't tease you with anything, I made sure my followers were just that, followers. Again, you can make people follow you by love or fear. Only one of those works out in the long run, though."

"Could you just not do that?"

Orochimaru actually stopped to think about that for a second.   
"I think what you're referring to is part of my personality, Kabuto. You shouldn't worry about other test subjects either way. We don't really have any at the moment but even if we did, they shouldn't be of your concern. Please let us not go there again. I am truly not planning on bedding any of them, nor was I planning to do that when you were working with me a decade ago."

Now it was Kabuto's turn to sink down on a chair, feeling equally defeated.  
"You saying it like this makes me feel like an idiot," he admitted. If they were starting to be honest about things, Kabuto could at least offer this.

The only answer was Orochimaru waving his hand as if to wave Kabuto's statement away. He gave a thoughtful little hum, but left it at that. 

Maybe things could eventually work out between them if they started actually communicating.   
Maybe Kabuto could tell Orochimaru that he had been yearning for him to touch his hair the way he did a few days ago for years.   
But maybe not tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Also: Happy New Year!


End file.
